I mean I am OK I just really wish I could have slept for 8 hours. I’ll manage. I’ll try to nap now and hopefully catch up on sleep. I am worried about those logic formulas, but the worst than can happen is I crash after my final today and take a nap, drink a coffee or a redbull and then study logic and french for a few hours.
I did finals while psychotic at this time last year and made a 3.5. I just need to give one last day of effort and then I can take those two finals tomorrow morning and be free.
I really hate how school is structured- too much at once then nothing at all during winter and summer breaks. I am taking chemistry with labs this summer, both 1110+1111 and 1120+1121. Come friday I am free until June 2nd. I have A’s in all of my classes, I am thinking about just halfassing french and logic and making B’s. My mom is on her recliner half awake and told me that my mental health is slipping and it’s not worth a 4.0, losing it is not an option she said.
I will do fine on the psych exams today, I might just ■■■■■■■■ the french and logic. My GPA is pretty high and can take two B’s. Last semester I made a 3.96 and my first semester I made a 3.9. I tend to do much better the first semester each year. I can feel that I am burnt out right now, I have lost my energy and motivation.
After all, it’s sort of a miracle for a schizophrenic to be a full time student with above a 3.0. I have to remind myself that I am not like the other students, I have a serious disability and don’t really belong in school in the first place. Not saying I won’t try, I just wont be a perfectionist. I could just not study or even not show up at all and still pass, given that I havent made a B this semester. I mean I will study and I will take the exams, but I am not going to lose my mind over a B instead of an A.
I think my concentration, behavioral neuroscience and my personal statement for sure will stand out to grad schools. I think they might understand not giving a ■■■■ about classes like french and formal logic. I have nearly all A’s in all of the psych classes I have taken, B+'s in two of them. I mean my personal statement will be the best one they have read, other kids try not to say “I wanna help people but only if I drive a mercedes and live in a big house in the suburbs” while I will be like “im ■■■■■■■ schizophrenic myself but I highly function, I want to dedicate my life to eradicating schizophrenia so let me study psych at your school. I don’t want to make lots of money, I want to kill mental illnesses with a greatsword”
fast forward to 5:20 to see a human ballistics gel demo