Was contacting multiple doctors and most of them were very stubborn and did not consider the fact that I had symptoms for schizophrenia and bipolar. Finally one of the doctor today has given the diagnosis as Sza which no one else gave. Either they were saying I have Bipolar or Schizophrenia and mostly Bipolar.
I feel sort of bit relieved to hear that I have Sza and it makes more sense as I was delusional and pyschotic and also had manic/Depressive symptoms. Now I am in a phase where I am able reflect on my actions and be self aware. Doctor said I am in remission and need to take Joykem 100mg along with Lithium 300mg.
But reason for contact with doctor was that I was feeling very scared and fearful of everything in general and did not know how to deal with it. The past is always haunting me to the core and making me feel frozen most of the time. Hope the diagnosis and medication can help with my situation.
Is it any different from Sza… Though I am working I feel dead inside most of the time. Not sure how long I can do the work and help my family. It’s always a living on an edge kind of feeling. Also have loans and no backup.
The stress sometimes is too immense and I try to spend some money asking some questions on some apps that may provide some solution time to time. Apart from that I do not act strangely or did not go out of control like I used to before. I just swallow the stress and keep quiet. Nothingness is what I feel because of that.