Fighting some ideas of reference

My youngest brother had a major psychological crash a few months ago and now… detoxed and stabilized, he’s been diagnosed with Bipolar 1. He’s gong to be put on Risperdal by injection because the docs are pretty sure he’s not going to be med compliant in any way.

He’s going to be put in therapy because the family therapist who helped me for so long is pretty sure that when he really has to face what he did while manic and on drugs, he’s going to hit a depression. In theory I could see that. But I have a hard time believing my youngest brother will be remorseful in anyway. That’s his bridge to cross on his own path.

The parents have seen him and say he’s much more calm now. After being injected and not on speed or all the other drugs? I bet. I’m at the other side of the fence where I’m hopeful, but want to be realistic. I am not going to walk around in rose colored glasses thinking it’s all better now. His ride is just beginning really.

But here is where the head circus is amping up. I’ve been having more and more vivid dreams about a huge tragic event for me personally. I’m trying not to see my brothers release as step one on the path.

I’m sure he’ll be confused as his whole life has turned upside down… I’m sure he’ll hit a self destruct button no matter how much they inject into him. Trying hard to be supportive of the youngest brother, but it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. It’s that potential for the self destruct button…

I’m trying to find a way to set a different path in motion so I can avoid the tragic outcome of the dreams I’ve been having lately. I know they are just dreams, but they feel so real and they play right into my deepest fear.

I keep telling myself that my dreams are NOT predicting my future, and just playing on the fear. But Wow it’s getting harder.

In the dream, he’ll try something self destructive, he’ll come out of it fine, my sis will end up dead. It’s so logical. Since there are family gatherings coming up, I can’t keep those two away from each other all the time. It’s just a dream. But this dream is real and so logical I could see it coming true.

I have to find a way to get over this or prevent this event.


J, dreams are symbolic and they never happen the same way as real life, they happen differently, even Freud wrote a book on that, if you’re so worried then why won’t try to analyse your dream by someone who knows how to translate their meanings…I my self not bad in this as well, but I can’t really analyse it for you since your description of your dream is not accurate and it misses a lot of important details.

I went for vague. I didn’t want to go into all the gory details yet. It’s sort of blood and graphic and my kid sis ends up dead in the dream due to my stupid younger brother being self-destructive.

I’m still trying to stay calm. But I like the dream analysis idea. It might help calm me down.

if you saw blood as in real life, not spots or red colored stuff, then it mostly means that the dream is meaningless and it’s only a reflection of your over-thinking of the matter it self. I don’t have a problem in translating your dream, you can send it as a PM, translating dreams is my hobby :smile: .

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Day 5… I really wish this dream would go away. I’m trying to use the help Alex gave me to sort of calm myself down and look at this more objectively.

But this one is just making my stomach hurt and I’ve been waking up with a blinding headache.

So much of it feels like this dream is predicting the future. So many of the pieces fit into reality. It’s really making me upset.

I just keep telling myself… it’s just a dream, a symbolism, not a true account prediction of the future.

But as it’s been said, this dream is gaining on me. I really hate my head sometimes. I need sleep, but this mess is making me what to avoid sleeping all together. Which I already know is another road out of lucid town. I have too much going on… I don’t want to relapse now.

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Sometimes dreams are just dreams. Sometimes they reflect what is causing us the most stress or anxiety in our lives, perhaps a way for us to try and deal or cope. Based on your brother’s past actions regarding your sis, these dreams make sense to me. You are afraid that your brother will do something that could harm her and you are reacting to that fear. Talk it out with your therapist so that you have a place to get it out. She can help you to put it into perspective. No you are not predicting the future. Your mind is playing with the what ifs. A relatively normal reaction in my opinion, however I think you need to find a way to stop it from triggering you. Maybe get back to some relaxing things before bed so that your mind is not worrying about this when you go to sleep. Try a new kind of sleepy tea and cut back on your caffeine! Maybe stop trying to cut down 1 more cigarette. Take the time to breath and adjust.


I need to keep telling myself that. The head circus is amping up with this one. Little pings of head circus telling me that I did predict my kid sisters arrival, and when all the doctors and their sonograms said she was a boy… I knew she was a girl.

I’m not trying to argue with any help offered… I’m arguing with my own head. Which I usually try to ignore.

I welcome all help and I do honestly ponder all help given. I haven’t had to ignore my head this hard in a while.

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I have faith in you.

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Uh Oh. James, from my experience, recurring nightmares are a signal that your mind is about to play tricks on you. Be careful and I think you are frankly worrying yourself sick over things that you cannot control. He’s your brother, he has had some struggles with bipolar disorder and drugs, sure, but you have disorganized schizophrenia, you come first.

You need to take your mind off of this. You are catastrophizing the situation and I think your paranoia is playing a part in it.

Your sister will be fine, and if your brother is on risperdal injections, he wont be hurting anyone, injections of old school meds like that put people the ■■■■ down, major tranquilizer right in the bloodstream.

Just dont carry the weight of the weight of the world on your shoulders, buddy. I dont even think of that and I am “incredibly highly functioning and in remission” according to my docs.

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Sorry this dream has caused you trouble. Try not to worry about it, just remember all the times in the past when you where worried about your sister and then later on you understood it was a delusion.

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Hi J, @mortimermouse makes sense in a way - I am on Risperdal, it is the second oldest atypical antipsychotic, and does act in many ways like an old school typical antipsychotic. Risperdal is a good antipsychotic for schizophrenic and bipolar symptoms. It also has some antidepressant type properties. I am pretty sure it is approved for bipolar mixed states as well. Have faith in his meds - they should help stabilize him. Risperdal with all of its side effects has been a god send to me - It might just help out your brother

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Maybe try to replace you dream with a daydream. Visualize the event going well and focus on that. Use your imagination to battle your fears. It is a good ally to have.

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Thank you for the feed back. I’m working on not getting carried away by this one. It’s bugging me. But I have help, I have all your ideas.

I am trying so hard not to think I’m predicting the future. I don’t want to think that.