My youngest brother had a major psychological crash a few months ago and now… detoxed and stabilized, he’s been diagnosed with Bipolar 1. He’s gong to be put on Risperdal by injection because the docs are pretty sure he’s not going to be med compliant in any way.
He’s going to be put in therapy because the family therapist who helped me for so long is pretty sure that when he really has to face what he did while manic and on drugs, he’s going to hit a depression. In theory I could see that. But I have a hard time believing my youngest brother will be remorseful in anyway. That’s his bridge to cross on his own path.
The parents have seen him and say he’s much more calm now. After being injected and not on speed or all the other drugs? I bet. I’m at the other side of the fence where I’m hopeful, but want to be realistic. I am not going to walk around in rose colored glasses thinking it’s all better now. His ride is just beginning really.
But here is where the head circus is amping up. I’ve been having more and more vivid dreams about a huge tragic event for me personally. I’m trying not to see my brothers release as step one on the path.
I’m sure he’ll be confused as his whole life has turned upside down… I’m sure he’ll hit a self destruct button no matter how much they inject into him. Trying hard to be supportive of the youngest brother, but it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. It’s that potential for the self destruct button…
I’m trying to find a way to set a different path in motion so I can avoid the tragic outcome of the dreams I’ve been having lately. I know they are just dreams, but they feel so real and they play right into my deepest fear.
I keep telling myself that my dreams are NOT predicting my future, and just playing on the fear. But Wow it’s getting harder.
In the dream, he’ll try something self destructive, he’ll come out of it fine, my sis will end up dead. It’s so logical. Since there are family gatherings coming up, I can’t keep those two away from each other all the time. It’s just a dream. But this dream is real and so logical I could see it coming true.
I have to find a way to get over this or prevent this event.