Even with people, life feels pretty lonely. Few people share my interests or goals, my beliefs (the rational ones). No one person has all of the above; I understand I should keep modest standards for friendship; I do, but…
I don’t want to bother keeping up with the subtleties of people. It’s stupid to think that any company of friends would be truthful and plain towards me at all times. It’s painful to think I’m so immature that I can’t handle frustrations of adult conversation.
No reasonable person would bother with me. I’m the last resort - bottom of the barrel. When you hit rock bottom and nobody likes you, then I will - and you might like me too just because you forget how being liked by better people feels.
Yeah it’s tough. Still. Most conversation is about listening and responding to cues. Most people like to talk about themselves and asking questions about them draws them out and that is how you get there.
It’s totally possible to have good friends even with all we deal with. Just be open to interaction and listen and respond. You remember what someone likes and you can use that. @Jayster years ago made a post about remembering what you like for your coffee. You remember that stuff your half way there…for example. I’m a milk two sugars…that is the stuff to remember and people like that and respond accordingly.
I feel this way too. It’s just exhausting and embarrassing.
I do have a very few close friends (3) and they all play a part making life a little fuller, as I hope to think I do in theirs.
My voices like to tell me all the time how I’m going to grow old and die all alone, and it’s not that I need (or want) tons of friends, but I hope they aren’t totally right.
Yeah hearing that @Jayster. I have had some amazing women in my life and that is always good. I still remember your reply to my first post here. I was struggling with psychosis but you gave me some good advice! I appreciate that matey!
I understand how you feel. I am getting help from some a very good medical team. I hope they help me stay connected to people. It’s a lot of hard work. I don’t feel like putting the work in sometimes. The only other option is accept the loneliness. It’s like being between a rock and a hard place.
