I’m sure some of you know what I cam talking about, those emotions that are felt that you just cant put into words.
my own example is the feeling, the instinct, that comes with being a ‘big brother’ and there are two forms of this.
Big Brother/Little Brother: That intense need to pick on your little brother, not to make them feel bad, but because you know, even without knowing it at the time, that it will ‘toughen’ them up for when they have to deal with real bullies. However, this feeling also comes with a huge protective complex, and a bit of an inferiority complex too (because moms always coddle the baby more). Only a guy who has a little brother or more could understand what it means to feel like picking on your brother, insulting him, sometimes harshly, just to turn around and punch some other guy in the nose for saying the same thing. To sum it up, its a “Bro Thing”.
Big Brother/Little Sister (or as some like to call it the 'Onii-chan Scenario): This is a feeling/instinct that is entirely distinct from the first one, you don’t feel the need to make fun of your baby sister, although you may feel like teasing her a little. This feeling, is at its most concentrated when an older big brother (a teen vs a toddler) first lays eyes on his new baby sister, there is an instant bond, a need to protect and a willingness to not only die for her, but to kill for her too.
This bond is not limited to new born blood siblings, it is quite common in older boys who suddenly find themselves in the daily life of a young child who is now a part of their family, be they foster or adopted.
I feel that people with mental illness do one of two things when they find themselves involved with a younger person. The either withdraw, out of fear of either feeling or causing pain, or they become hyper protective. In my case I have a very overactive ‘Big Brother’ instinct. I see a girl or a boy, who is younger than me or acts younger than me, and I find myself unable to detach from them, and spend every waking moment worrying about them.
Although I have yet to have kids of my own the old fashion way, my two foster kids, who will hopefully become my adoptive kids, have triggered the ‘evolved form’ if you will of the Brother Instinct, not quite a paternal instinct, but so much stronger than simply being a brother.
I would like to hear about the ‘Feelings’ others have experienced like this. Be it motherhood, sisterhood, or even the feeling you got when you accomplished something you thought you never would. Anything you have felt that simply defies your ability to form it into words.