Feelings of failure due to disability

sigh. I’ve been on disability for schizophrenia for quite some time due to a learning disability that I acquired. Due to that, I can’t use complex cognitive functions to work at a high paying job. I think that I could be stuck as a cashier, receptionist, or cook (minimum wage) but it kills me inside. Everyone in my high school or university turned out alright. I used to be one of the top students. Now I’m not doing better than the popular kid who got low grades and currently making more money as a car mechanic or an inheritor of a company. I worry about getting a spouse because of the stigma surrounding schizophrenia and the family shame that comes along with it. Also, the olanzepine might make me infertile… My cousin tell me that some other people have it worse and that other people experience all sorts of hardship and that I am not the only “damaged” one. LIke having cancer. I feel like a failure in life and think that after 2.5 years of medical treatment, I am not going to fully recover.

Do any of you experience feelings of worthlessness and insecurity? I dunno what job decent job I can get with a learning disability with poor short term memory.

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I relate. I’m going to get on disability soon. I’m 19 and all my peers have superceded me. I have failed to meet life events like completing a semester of college or holding down a job. I feel like if I get on disability, which I need to, I will be signing away any chance of success/recovery. I feel like a failure too.

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I feel insecure about myself and szc makes it hundred of thousand times worse

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As someone who has never worked , and has achieved very little , I too have often felt quite worthless. It’s very likely I have what is called a learning difficulty in the UK. It’s never been diagnosed , because people from my generation were very seldom seen as having such a difficulty if of average or above intelligence .

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I have been on disability for 7 years and feel like a failure everyday. I am very ashamed to be on it not doing anything. I just don’t have any motivation. I want to work but I am afraid to lose my benefits. Because it’s stability to me. I don’t think I will ever be able to survive without disability I would be under too much stress. I am trying to see about working just weekends though and still keeping my benefits. Although I am ashamed to be on it, I am very thankful for it. I will have to get my doctor to fill out some forms when they review me for it in a couple months and I am ashamed. It’s a new young doctor and I feel he will think. She is stable now. She can work. He just lowered my medication. So I am stressed and afraid.

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Being on disability makes me feel horrible.

Logically, I know it shouldn’t. I know I need help, at least for the moment, and I shouldn’t let my pride obscure that fact. I don’t judge other people for being on disability. Still, it hurts to have gone from working no matter how I felt and taking pride in doing even menial jobs to getting stressed out by those same jobs to the point of not being able to do them anymore without practically inviting another breakdown.

I wish I knew what to say to make you all feel better. I guess we just have to keep reminding ourselves that we didn’t ask for this lot in life, and we deserve to be helped because we have inherent value as human beings, or that’s how I’m trying to see it.

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I hate having to be on disability. I started having major problems after my son was born.

I did odd jobs as a teen such as cleaning a house and raking leaves or selling snacks at the fair. Then at 18 or 19 while in college I got a job at Hardee’s. Also in college I worked as a telemarketer while I was pregnant with my daughter. After she was born I always worked 1 or 2 jobs at a time since then. When I became disabled I was working full time and had a really good job.

My sister’s never been able to work bc she has Elhers Danlos syndrome and i don’t think she feels guilty at all. Idk :neutral_face:

I don’t feel worthless on disability…it’s all I can get since failing at trying to work in my career so long…I embrace it now as a necessity.

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I don’t feel like a failure anymore. Maybe someday I can work…

Disability is such a blessing to me and my family. I don’t feel like as much of a burden to them – they already provide so much for me. Having a little income helps dramatically. Do I feel like a failure because I can’t work? Yes. But at least I have some financial support coming in, and it’s nice.

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