im in remission the past 9months, no syptoms and feeling well everyday, sometimes euhpria. lately ive being questioning myself, i say ‘why’ should i feel bad and down, i did noting wrong and most people living, feel well most of the time… has anyone questioned why they feel down?
I sometimes feel down because I am an undergrad student and I worry about my future. I wish I was settled into a steady job and didn’t always worry about the future. I also ruminate on the past, which is a one way ticket to crying. I am also in remission, have been for about 6 months. I feel well most of the time but I wish I was out of school. It’s nerve racking, not knowing what to expect and having tons of work all at once.
I figure out what makes me down and I avoid it. Ruminating on my past is a no-no. It makes me cry. Letting school intimidate me is a no-no. It makes me anxious.
This whole psychotic journey was hell and I just came out of it. I was full blown schizophrenic right before I turned 19, and I am 20 now. My life got ■■■■■■ up and put back together very recently. It’s emotionally scarred me, I tested very highly for trauma when I took a formal evaluation.
I have gotten into powerlifting, it makes me keep positive and it feels good to literally be strong. I feel good when I go to class and go to the gym. I sometimes ruminate when I am not busy, and I have plenty to ruminate on.
If I take my meds right I feel well every day.
Hi mortimermous, I’m admired by the way you were ■■■■■■ up and put yourself back together so hastily. For me it took years to put myself back together. But I’m back as you say. Some days will be days my sleep is less than 6 hours. I feel bad those days. But I’m on a feel good streak. And I am good at keeping it that way.
I wish I was like you. Even though I take medication regularly, I still have symptoms. I feel down and anxious about a lot. Like Mortimermouse, I am an undergrad, and I too wish that I was finished with my education, so that I could settle into a nice job and help people. I feel bad about my past. And I feel bad about my symptoms. Going to school though is helpful for me.
Sometimes I question why I feel up. Will it last? Am I really better or is it JUST the meds? Do I deserve this? What if this is a fluke and will all come crashing into Negative symptom tomorrow. But then I take a walk and get something done and make someone I love smile and I know it’s all going to be Ok.
I used to have those feelings too. It took me about 20 years to work out my current meds. I take five now.
Thanks for the encouragement, pob.
I worked actively with my Drs. on trying different meds. Though it took me 20 years, it needn’t.
Dose is important too.