My mom is in a care facility now. She has actually been making progress with her recovery, which 2 different medical opinions said she wouldn’t. It makes me worried. Will she recover enough to stay alive on her own but have to live in a care facility forever? What if she does recover and just comes home and starts drinking again and we have to do this all over? It’s a lot.
Usually my mom drives my sisters places and my younger brother helps out when needed. With my mom gone my brother has been doing all the driving and has been getting overwhelmed, so I have been asked to help, but I am in a depressive episode currently and it’s HARD. When I am well I don’t mind helping out but I am NOT well now. It doesn’t help that my dad keeps pressuring me to go visit my mom. I told him it only makes me worse. He still calls me about her every day and had me talk to her over the phone. I’m going to start just not answering my phone like how my brother does because he has no respect for boundaries.
I have all these doctors appointments this month and it puts strain on us financially so we have that stressor as well.
I just feel so unhappy and stressed and worried. I am angry at my mom for putting us through this with her alcoholism, angry at my dad for putting us through this by not addressing her alcoholism and not respecting my boundaries, I’m even miffed with my younger sisters for not working harder to get their driver’s licenses which puts the burden on the family to drive them places.
I need a break. A relaxing spa day or something. We have 2 trips coming up in July so I’ll just hold out for that.
Summary: Life just sucks right now and I’m in a depressive episode on top of it so it’s a nightmare.