Schizophrenia.com

Feeling Really Down


#1

I’m just so upset. I’m doing freaking dumb dating simulator games because I’m so lonely romantically. I really want a boyfriend. But I CAN’T get one because of the stupid, stupid hallucinations, abuse blah blah you’ve all probably heard at least bits and pieces of the story before and I don’t really like retelling it.

It’s just not fair!! It’s not freaking fair!! I can’t even get away!! I’m just STUCK with my abusers because they’re in my head. I can’t run away from them, I can’t fight them or hurt them. The best I can do is keep them from attacking me, and even that’s really hard and takes an exhausting amount of effort many times. They haven’t attacked me since my God voice came back, but that hasn’t stopped them from talking to me.

And you know what else is completely unfair?! My nightmares!! They SUCK. In fact I don’t even know if I can call them nightmares. I’ll just be having a normal dream, everything’s going good and fun, I’m lucid, I’m doing whatever, and then someone or something out of nowhere will just come up and RELENTLESSLY sexually harass me. Instantly I lose ALL my lucid powers and I’m so dang HELPLESS. It isn’t fair!! I can’t get away from this!! You’d think sleep would offer respite from it, but NO not for me! I can’t get away!! God I feel like I’m just being eaten away inside. I want it all to stop. Managing this CRAP on top of everything else I have to deal with is just unbelievable.

I needed to rant, sorry. Things have been uber chaotic for me lately. Thank you guys for all your support again. This forum is a godsend, I swear.


#2

Anna,
I know what it is like to be attacked by relentlessential voices, maybe you need to find some coping skills.? Music is the only thing that really makes a difference for me, I lay on my bed on my heating pad because my back hurts too, and I turn on the radio, and it I does not get rid of the voices, but it does seem to calm them when they get really loud and nothing else is helping.
Actually another thing thar seems to be helping me is immersing myself on the internet, because it is very hard to listen to voices and concentrate on reading at the same time. Different people find do different coping skiĺls, but I know for me, that is what helps. I hope you feel better.
sending you kitty hugs,
kitty


#3

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#4

It’s not good to laugh in the face of someone who has severe health problems. Have some compassion.


#5

hi anna try to enjoy your single time if you can achieve being relatively sane on your own you will never be afraid to leave a bad relationship and that is no small thing get obsessed with things films, pets activities we all need more acitivities LOL you are not only worthy if your in a couple hun.


#6

I don’t really base my worth on it or anything, I’m very accustomed to being single. Regardless I’d really like to meet my special someone, ya know? I feel like I’ve never had a really good relationship in my life. They’ve all been short and underwhelming.


#7

2 bunny :rabbit: hugs for you and half a bug :bug: hug.
take care from dark :alien: