Feeling low like a heavy weight on me. I have intrusive thoughts of suicide comes and goes. I regularly get this somehow have to ride it out without doing anything stupid 
sometimes i can ride out this black cloud othertimes im too ill to cope
1 Like
I feel like ā ā ā ā too
Im sorry you feel bad
2 Likes
Ive been told its low moods and ive tried a few antidepressants but i am more suicidal on ads
Ive been living with low moods several times a month ( no obvious pattern ) for over a decade
I wish my Drs would prescribe me antidepressants or stimulants, they will make me feel better
well Iām so sorry about your thoughts on suicideā¦please reach out if you feel worse.
2 Likes
Thankyou @jukebox the suicidal thoughts have passed im not in any danger now but i just thought id chat to you guys to feel support
2 Likes
Have you had a good cry about it?
I know itās not the same as dealing with suicidal thoughts,
But I have some OCD type thoughts that are very, very difficult.
Pretty much every morning I cry for about 20 mins over my own mortality, not knowing what happens when you die and the unfairness of life in general.
Then I accept my fate and continue with my day.
My point is,
Crying about it makes you feel better.
Life sucks.
A lot sometimes.
Itās worth crying about.
Itās also worth putting up with all the sucky stuff.
Thereās good out there.
4 Likes
Sorry your going throughā¦ I know how that is ā¦I think. If you have to get help. Just donāt forget that it passesā¦ Thatās what I tell myself when my intrusive thoughts take over.
1 Like
Thanks @Charles_Foster @anon31960475
Yes there is good out there. I think its a chemical imbalance in my brain that causes strong depressed moods sometimes but its not all the time so pdoc doesnāt think its full blown depression. I cannot really cry about anything because im very numb but thanks for your support replying.
1 Like
Just stay strongā¦ until you find a solution the only way through is throughā¦ I learned that the hard way.
1 Like
Yep your absolutely right and its priceless having support here so thanks!
I thought about ringing crisis earlier but ive managed to get through it this time. And your right moods are temporary they pass
2 Likes
They really are ducky 
with my brain I switched extreme moods some times 4-5 times a day. Itās rough but it comes in waves
1 Like
Do you want me to make you cry?
Iām very mean spirited.
Kidding.
About the making you cry part.
Seriously,
I hope you feel better.
To misquote the Oscar winning movie āNetworkā,
Youāre a human being, goddamnit,
Your life has value.
5 Likes
Thanks this made me smile 
Yup we all have value were human beings. Even i have feelings just bit on the numb side but i still must feel some emotions
2 Likes
Im recognising feelings more lately and all these late nights ive been having and stresses. Im feeling bit more emotions now which is brilliant.
I have eupd so meds numbing me is a godsend because without meds im on an emotional roller-coaster.
Just chilling now thinking how things arenāt as bad as they seem sometimes and meds are a lifesaver
2 Likes
so happy to hear you say that @anon29983254 good.
1 Like
My way of dealing with suicidal thoughts or giving up in life is like: As they are just thoughts I try to go with it like try to imagine the scenario what I will do exactly and what are the effects of it for the family or close ones and picture myself going through the pain and is it worth or not.
Then think of what are alternate things I can do to make myself feel better. End of the day we need peace of mind and a smile. For that maybe pick one or two things that we used to do which maybe mundane and boring or something interesting but still better than the pain.
1 Like
I hear you i do that but its definitely a imbalance for me i get these heavy weight on my shoulders feeling and cant shift it for hours so i think its something out of my control like a chemical imbalance idk
I wait and eventually it passes
Occasionally i do self harm or overdose when i feel it but not as much as i used to so thats good
@anon29983254 I am sorry you self harmā¦that must be hellā¦I had a gf whoās daughter was about nineteen and self harmedā¦awfulā¦made me feel helplessā¦I still feel helpless to tell you not to do itā¦stop completelyā¦pretty please.