Feeling like sh!t the last few days

Yesterday I nearly didnt take my meds at night and slept a bit. Woke up later and took meds hours after the usual time I take meds. I wanted to be psychotic and dying to stop the severe negative symptoms. Before yesterday and today I am stressed about my future and jealous of the person I was before sz and of my brothers. I see them everyday hanging out with their friends and girlfriends. I ate like a pig and broke my diet, ate tons of chips, chocolate, gummy candies, etc I felt even worse after eating that much bcz I will gain the weight I lost in 2 months.

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Theyre both working full time with their university degree making lots of money.

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Maybe my bad brother is right by calling me a parasite.

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Definition of parasite:

an organism that lives in or on an organism of another species (its host) and benefits by deriving nutrients at the other’s expense.

I think we shouldn’t compare to other healthy people but to other people with sz, today I recreated a facebook account to spy my old friends and I feel weird too comparing me empty account that represents my life to theirs.

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Hoping you feel better man. Don’t let the diet slip get you down, it happens.

:heart:

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I’m sorry you’re having a rough time with negative symptoms. What meds have you tried? Can you try a new med? Some APs make me incredibly tired, while others give me energy

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It’s okay. You are just having a bad time right now. Don’t let you weigh yourself down with negative feelings about yourself.

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I just posted 1 picture on fb since I was diagnosed 10 years ago. It was my cousin’s wedding.

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He says I am a parasite to my parents and society.

I get sick of it all too sometimes @Aziz . I guess you just have to live for the good days. I wish I could be like I was too but, unfortunately, that’s not gonna happen. You only live once (unless you believe in reincarnation), so you can’t just give up and hope for a better life next time. You have to live with what you’ve got. We all gonna die soon enough. Life is short.

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Everytime we fight he brings up my sz.

I believe that disabled people are not parasites but have the useful function of making others more empathetic, altruistic and generally more mature people.

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He compares himself to me and when I tell him I have sz he says I wont talk to you then since you’re crazy.

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He is talking non sense, don’t even think about it.

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He keeps telling me that sz isnt an excuse to lazyness etc

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From a normies perspective I think they just want to see us try. Not to accept and be complacent but to try even if it’s a little bit.

Feel better soon dude.

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In reality normies wouldn’t be able to stay in bed all day not even if tie them, so that accusation of laziness is unfounded.
When I was healthy I NEEDED something to do.

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I understand what your going through try to take it one day at a time hope you feel better tomorrow

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Thanks all, I hope it will pass and that I will be better tomorrow.

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