Feeling ashamed and guilty :(

It’s not good to alienate our therapists, especially one that can empathize with your plight. Not every pdoc understands every mental illness.

I agree, but it seems to be a common human phenomenon. There were times when I was little that I used aggression in a bad way. I’m not proud of that.

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"I hold the chair and was about to hit him with the chair and kill him."

When your psychiatrist said “Grab a chair”, I don’t think he meant it in that way.

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ksmk bra y3rs nta gy tst5f dmk ybnel a7pa

Speedy, you make me feel pretty bad! You could have used a little more proper language.

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hi omar
i m too egyptian
why are you too violent
mental illness is not so serious illness
you can take medications for sometime then be healed
sorry you been hit at the clinic
mental illness is indicator stress not shamful
all ppl had mental illness only they differ in severity
mind is powerful
just use it and practice you will be fine

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you can go to doctor again but not alone
he always will remember what you did
but with one of your family
at this time the doctor will not focus on you
he will focus with the one who accompany you
and i m sure he will forgive you

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Ok! I won’t swear any more!

If Haldol isn’t working maybe try risperidone or invega

Omar from what you are saying, I feel like the doctor was talking to you inappropriately, baiting you with “you would hit me” and then you had a bit of a delusion that he wanted you to attack him for him to give you the drugs.

I think the way he talked to you was inappropriate to be honest. Like it clearly confused you.
You have to understand that when relationships like this fall apart, its better for everyone to move on to other staff that can support you. But honestly from what you’ve said I don’t even think its particularly your fault. Why was he encouraging/baiting for violence?

You could always write a letter to him saying sorry if it would make you feel better, but its probably best to be seen by someone else.

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that is the most beautifull answer on this topic :slight_smile: thank you.

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