Feel like running away again

I once posted on same topic. Now it is unbearable. I feel like losing focus and concentration at work. I am not able to perform well. I feel so energy less and lights out in me. Based on these patterns I feel like running away from life.

Not sure what I will do after running away. Not sure where I will go. What I will do. But these are recurrent thoughts.

When I am doing some intense work I feel like no intrusive thoughts are coming but occasionally some crazy thoughts pop in my mind. But just have to complete the day and then I will be safe.

Hope I survive and do my work and be normal for at least 4-5 years then I will be free to decide on my life much better.

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No its not the answer

Think about what you have and what you can improve on

You don’t wanna live with nothing

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It’s hard to say what you shall do…

The only thing I could say is that taking a break is crucial.
If it’s possible for you at the moment of course.

I hope you will be alright🙏

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Thanks @anon29983254 @HyperactiveNectar.

I would not run away if things are going ok. Just that I am scared if things go bad for me, what I will do or need to do. Maybe, I need to worry about how to improve on myself with taking breaks in between. That will help me move on and not move back.

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Consult a psychologist they would suggest something.

Running away is not ment to change anything because you are running away carrying your problems along.

It’s the brain that is troubled.

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@X_Y_Z I know it is not the solution. But I am fascinated to run away from home always. I never used to feel good about being at home or with people. It is hard-wired in my brain. I was made weird from the beginning. It was not by birth after birth. I am not able to explain well about my issues or form a structured story about it. Always unreasonable and not natural.

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Its a bad idea to give up what you have made for yourself

It is your mental illness deluding you

Impulsive actions are just that, not good

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I have never done anything better or good or worthwhile for myself. Except that I got a better job now. Yes you are right mental illness ruling me and deluding me and it’s not good to run away. But whatever happens let it happen. To change the pattern of thinking and behaviour I need super human powers.

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But places like this gives me understanding about my thinking and actions based on the comments and things.

I would love to live my life if I am able to think better and do better. Just need some push or unseen motivation.

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You’ve got a better job now
A roof over your head
Food in your belly
Options of seeing family and friends whenever you wish

What more do you need?

And a camping trip occasionally would do you the world of good

Keep being you, your amazing just the way you are!

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Yup you are right on money.

Words like these helps me. I do not have my father or brother to advice me. Friends I could not explain this freely. I feel this site helps me vent whatever I have in my mind that is bothering me and get some help.

You know why I feel running away mostly because of the constant physical and mental abuse which I was not able to overcome and could not resolve it both physical and mental wise. Now I am able to resolve physical part. Mental things are PTSD kind of stuff.

Just need to find ways to adapt to the new life and enjoy the things that I have while it lasts and learn as much as I can about the job and move forward.

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Thats brilliant that you have worked through it rationally. Im so glad for you friend!

Im off to bed, sleep well get some rest yourself x

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I am a bad example, I ran away from my last two jobs, one lasted 1 month and the last one 1 year.

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I am not good at keeping jobs or doing jobs constantly. I have been very on and off in jobs due to health issues. Now I am trying really hard to work well and do my part for the family. Sometimes it is overwhelming and bit hard to grasp the things at work. But hope I manage and do it.

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Good luck with it!

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Thanks. Good night. Here it is Good morning just now. Need to get on with the day and move through it.

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