Feel like I'm one of the worst people here :(

I am unfit to work, can’t volunteer (thinking about it makes me suicidal for some reason), not studying anything (can barely focus or concentrate on anything), hardly ever see friends, barely have any friends anyway, its very difficult for me to make friends because I find it hard to trust people. I just spend most days in bed because I have no motivation to do things… not even things I “enjoy” like writing, drawing, yoga, ummm that’s it I guess. Yeah I don’t really enjoy much. I still feel like s*** sometimes even though I’m on highest dose of SSRI.

Inner dialogue says mean things to me. Every time I go outside I think people on the streets are there to follow me and kill me. Every night I have disturbing nightmares and I struggle to differentiate them from reality.
Things move that aren’t moving. People turn into dustbins. Bugs appear and vanish and buzzes next to my ear aren’t actually wasps they’re just…nothing. Not real.

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That is ■■■■■■■. But you can try smaller things. Perhaps. And you are on the highest dose of ssri. Does not that help?

Im ■■■■■■ also. If i loose my job i will become homeless …

Talk to your dr. That’s way too big to ask of us. However, I send :hugs: your way and hope you find a good dr! Meds can helpquite a lot though there are side effects that can be scary. But know that someone is always online here to give :hugs: cool forum

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Has your pdoc ever suggested ECT? It helps with depression and the positive and negative symptoms of sz. It has helped me a lot. :sun_with_face:

If you have been on the same ap for a long time but are still hallucinating have u considered a different ap with ur Dr.

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Try one step at a time. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Are you on an AP @Jesspresso?
Maybe it’s time for an adjustment or change in meds.
Please discuss all options with your doctor.

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She said she doesnt take aps.

She is in anti depressant…!!!

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Maybe this is the problem.

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Most of the szprenic dont like taking anti psychotic…!!!

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I understand there is a lot of difficult issues going on for you?

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Depression is debilitating in itself. People in my health care team keep asking me if I lay in bed all day like it’s a bad thing. Factor in delusions and life can be very tough. Just do the best you can. I want you to do well.

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You have severe schizophrenia it sounds like, thats what disability pension is for.

just try your best, never give up, no surrender x

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Personally, things got better as I got older. You need to quiet that harshly critical inner voice that you have. Maybe cognitive behavioral therapy would work.

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i understand how you feel…I was in a similar situation, but things do improve

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Hey, I’m in a similar boat right now; not doing much for fear of destabilizing. I’m just focused on survival right now. Sending healing vibes. :hugs:

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Life can be hard sometimes. I’m still holding on hoping for better days and a better life. Some things take years of waiting. It took about six months for me to get SSI and I hope I can keep it for life.

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I’m sorry you’re struggling so much! Sending :hugs: and good vibes

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in alot of ways except hallucinations we are similar