Feel like I'm in over my head on this one

So, I picked up a new AA sponsee this evening. Get nearly a quarter century sober in the program and, yeah, you’ll wind up sponsoring newcomers. Today threw me for a loop, however. We have a member who celebrated 50 years of sobriety this past Thursday. That’s HALF A FREAKIN’ CENTURY with the plug firmly in the jug. The bugger is so dry we can’t put candles on his cake for fear of him catching fire.

And now I’m his sponsor. Good God. I understand that you’re not gonna find many people with more years dry than you when you reach half a century and you sometimes have to find someone younger, but I’m not sure I’m a viable Plan B. He did say that I “mostly don’t sound like an idiot at meetings” so I suppose there’s that.

Ugh.

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Sounds like he has lots of respect for you or he wouldn’t ask you.

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You know those really old guys who say whatever the hell they want to, because:

  1. They haven’t got enough time left to waste it on pleasantries.
  2. They enjoy head explosions, bigger is better.
  3. They’re right and they know they’re right.

He is one of those. I am SO SCREWED.

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Well that’s probably why he respects you. Emotionally charged/sensitive types like me might butt heads with people like you sometimes, but he’s probably relieved to have someone who can communicate like he does, back and forth, without anyone getting butthurt about it. In this regard you have unique strengths to offer him that most people can’t. So I’d say go for it.

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Well, I don’t enjoy causing head explosions, but I do seem to leave a trail of them behind me. Something to put on the list the next time I do Step Four, that is certain.

Sponsoring someone seems like a massive responsibility. What do you have to do? What’s involved in sponsoring someone?

Take back his 50 year chip and give him a 24 hour chip, just to remind him. That’ll put him in his place.

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Sponsors are usually more experienced members of AA who share their experience and wisdom with newer members. In this case my sponsee has more than twice the time working the program sober than I do, so it’s kind of hard for me to be the older, more knowledgeable person in this relationship. I’m there as someone who has enough sobriety that my sponsee can rely on me to be there for him when he’s going through a rough patch and maybe wanting a drink or needing support.

Here’s some info on how AA sponsorhip works:

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Oh no!

151515151515

I asked 4 or 5 people to sponsor me years ago but they either fired me or I fired them within the first week of working with them. Eventually I found a great sponsor who was very knowledgeable about the program and took me through the steps thoroughly and with attention to detail. I had more years clean than him but I relied on him to give me advice and support which he never failed to do. It isn’t always just about how much clean time they have that makes a great sponsor, it is also about the quality of their clean time and they’re knowledge about the program. Someone with 8 or 9 years clean may make a better sponsor then someone with 15 or 20 years clean. And like in my case, my sponsor knew a lot more about the program than me even though I had more clean time than him.

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Maybe you can learn from each other. If not, try to extricate yourself with no hard feelings.

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