Feel like I don’t have a chance in life

That’s not entirely accurate. People right on this forum accomplish various things other than minimum wage jobs. Being a janitor may not be prestigious but I make $14.00 an hour to vacuum an army reserve building. Not prestigious but I get to talk to friendly soldiers and joke around like I do here.My job is ridiculously easy and even though I work among people during the days, I still have long stretches where i am alone and just have my own space and can work at my own pace and just kind of daydream or grab a coke to dink. I am not the only example of this.

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I’ve been kind of in a down, negative spell lately. I think winter has some part in it. But it is true our thoughts affect our moods and where there are negatives there are also positives if we focus on them we feel better. You’re young and on meds and still physically healthy, you make vlogs, you can keep doing your hobbies and what interests you and make a decent life. Like I said I’m in a down spell and much older than you and not healthy physically anymore but most of my life has been pretty good.

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Dude time heals all things, I am a testament to that. Everyday I wake up feeling better and better and I tried to kill myself amonth ago, now it’s like I’m starting to feel alive again. Get on some good meds and never forget everything gets better. It always does

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I have to fight off paranoid thoughts and other delusuons but hallucinations are very minimal. I’ve never thought the voices were real. They usually come from other objects like running water or a fan.

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I’ve failed at 100% of the things that I’ve ever done. I did graduate from two colleges but, I failed at both careers. I failed at my marriage and at motherhood. I failed at all my romantic relationships too. I’m not even succeeding very well at piano even though I’ve been studying for twelve years. I can’t get the boogie beat down. I’m better at classical.

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It just makes me all the more happier when I occasionally get the better of a “normie”. Occasionally winning and giving someone a taste of their own medicine feels better than sex. And it’s a lot less expensive.

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