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Feel fraudulent because I met my pal in a pub


#21

Oh I’ve had lots of time now I think I’m 57 or 58 I don’t really remember and I don’t keep track anymore.


#22

I realized I don’t know I’m 38 or 39, so I just rounded up to 40. LOL


#23

Oh well then you’re just a baby and from the 40s are actually the best of all.

Go have adventures while your body is still working perfectly. Climb mountains ski down them Hike up hills and run back down.
Float in A lake or a Sea and look at sunsets.


#24

I’ve always believed in that. I’m actually trying to learn and discover as much truth as I can for several years now. I used to do all of those things before I started doing this. Hehe.


#25

Dude, all of this just proves you have difficulty socializing, and aren’t being fraudulent. If someone did report you, your pdoc would have to submit a report in your appeal stating that you were following doctor’s instructions by going to the pub with your friend. You can even save your receipts if you want, to prove you only had nonalcoholic beverages. You could even go so far as to subpoena the bartender, who can also verify you only order nonalcoholic drinks.

None of this is necessary, of course. Because nobody is going to try to take away your benefits for going out of your house once a week. Socialization is a basic human need, so much so that it is considered torture to place someone in solitary confinement for a length of time. Why would it be any less torturous for social services to imprison you in your own house?

I know there have been a lot of reviews on social services in your country, and it makes you scared. But you have the law on your side. You can easily prove that going to the pub once a week is part of your doctor-mandated treatment plan. You’re safe.


#26

Thanks @ninjastar. That all makes sense.


#27

Nope, you filled that form in eight years ago. Government departments are run by normal people who understand that situations, such as sociability, change.

Given you were new to the system back then, and they would have assumed new to meds, they would take into consideration that you’re now on meds, on a treatment plan and they’d contact your pdoc for an opinion. To which he would respond “I’ve ordered him to go out and be social.”

You’re not fraudulent. You’re not actively deceiving the government for financial benefit. You have a genuine illness. Fraudulent would be faking a back injury for benefits then getting busted doing cash in hand work as a brickies labourer.

Just think about this:


#28

Thanks @turtle x


#29

You’re conscientious, @anon20613941, and there’s nothing wrong with that. I’ve learned that sz takes what may be a really good thing and twists it. So because you are conscientious, you then go on to believe you’re being watched, when in reality it’s just you monitoring yourself.
When I find which thoughts of my own are latching onto my normal thoughts, I have to constantly remind myself of what is true and what is not, every single time.
What’s true is that you’re a good person who naturally craves some time out and you’ve found a place and a companion you can handle. You don’t waste time or money there and you’re not doing anything wrong. What’s not true is that someone would care enough to watch you that closely.
Enjoy, @anon20613941. You deserve it, you’re doing nothing wrong.


#30

I think the question of socialising is a tricky one and one which like a lot of other criteria for ESA and PIP, assessors often being dishonest will deliberately downplay or dismiss your answers. I know I put I hardly socialised which was and still is true. Over the last 13 years I’ve seen family and gone very sporadically to mental health based groups. There has been extremely little interaction with people outside of that. I got a 2 for engaging with other people although as you can see I engage very little.

Certainly like you I worry about being seen to be social as without those 2 points I would have failed to get PIP. There seems to be a major disconnect within the way ESA/PIP is evaluated between people not meeting the criteria for it and people being necessarily well enough for work.

The truth is you can be doing relatively better ie socialising a bit more but still have major difficulties with socialising on a consistent basis. If you’re like me there are days when physically you are able to get out but mentally/psychologically you can’t. The trouble is the system takes a little improvement with an illness that can fluctuate anyway and dishonestly says “Ah you’re completely ok now”.

A large part of that is due to government policy which has cynically narrowed the definition of what it is to be disabled/significantly disabled so it is at odds with the reality for many disabled people. This it has to be said is part of a deliberate economic and social policy to treat the disabled as callously as possible. It was easier to scapegoat the disabled/disadvantaged and poor for the world economic crisis of 2008 than to lay the blame where it truly belonged with the bankers etc .


#31

From what you’ve described, even if someone from the benefits office checked this out (which they won’t), it would only bolster your case for needing to be on benefits. Socializing occasionally with one friend in a public place a stone’s throw from your apartment (and worrying about it as much as you do) is evidence of your struggling with daily life activities.

Also, socializing not only helps you and is beneficial for your mental health, but it also is beneficial for your friend.


#32

I could be wrong. But I think the officials who decide these things listen to the doctors more than us. It sounds like your doctor believes you and in your disorder.

I sometimes have really good days and I feel like a fraud too. But then it always comes back to remind me. I think your paranoia of people watching you is a sign that you do need help. Just from the little we’ve talked, I know you are not a fraud. And I think it is okay to have normal moments. Those do not make us frauds either.


#33

I know very little of the NHS but if you have good documentation of your illness and are being treatment compliant I think you deserve a spot of fun here and there @anon20613941 without being overly concerned about something that probably wouldn’t happen unless by a legal process.

Enjoy your life @anon20613941. :slight_smile:


#34

That is very true and mirrors my own situation. If I go out with anyone it is my stepdaughter/and or granddaughters. A journey out entails sitting in a cafe less than 500 steps from where I live, by myself if not with my stepdaughter and /or granddaughters.
The assessor saw that as only being needed to be prompted for socialising whereas I have great difficulty socialising outside of family. In essence my difficulty socialising was very much downplayed. This is how the system in the UK works .
You can struggle with such a daily life activity as @anon20613941 and I, and many others, do,but the system re disability benefits will quite deliberately not acknowledge the extent of the problem .

This of course fosters a fear that if you socialise at all albeit with great difficulty you’ll be penalised.


#35

I should say my PIP assessment was done before I moved near my stepdaughter but the point is to show the level of difficulty I have with socialising that gets cynically and dishonestly downplayed by the system.


#36

The fact that you can feel fraudulent in the face of having your illness is a sign you are doing something right.

Beyond that you’re not fraudulent man it’s obvious.

I hit that hubub as well mate… Except I do very well to keep trucking even without meds. I’m still hallucinating constantly… but I’ve trained the delusional part of me to believe that it was like being reborn into a different and more difficult life.

Like in some future society that’s post modern… an adult entering into psychosis is like a second puberty… but that’s me sharing parts of my psycho babble… don’t be triggered it’s all hypothetical.


#37

When the government in the U.S. or the local government gives you benefits they assume you will be spending at least a little bit of it for entertainment. You’re doing nothing wrong by having a couple of beers or going out to eat occasionally.


#38

There is nothing wrong with what your doing.
It’s fine for us to socialize a bit.
No worries @anon20613941.


#39

The only thing you have to worry about with this is your health. No one’s going to stop you from drinking.


#40

I feel strong sympathy with this. I get this feeling ALL THE TIME. The thing is, people are going to throw shade no matter what you do. We either meet the description we set for ourselves, and get called out for being weak when we refuse to challenge ourselves. Or we challenge ourselves and get called on being fakers. There’s no winning, so just do what’s right for you. Everyone only has so long to live so if you can handle going to the pub and having a good time, then do it.