I feel ■■■■. Last night my husband wanted to know what’s wrong and when I reluctantly said I have urge to run away it scared him (naturally!) which saddened me too. He said it’s not normal. I don’t want to leave him, it’s just an urge probably due to my sza and stress or something. Meds kicked in and I fell asleep.
This morning dreams all tangled up and I drifted in an agonizing haze of half asleep half awake. Kept returning to bed after coffee break and breakfast and slept till noon. It’s now 15:40 and I tried to keep my mind off my problems by playing cards. I can’t read much as my mind is too distracted.
I decided that as it’s a whole month till my next appointment with my pdoc again, and she’s not available sooner, that if I’m not doing well by mid week, I will make appointment at my hospital outpatients to see emergency pdoc for assessment. Maybe they can also help, maybe increase my meds or something… Hoping I won’t need to go inpatient. I should be doing ok should I?