Fed up with myself

Health and Recovery
#1

I’m fed up with myself. Nothing feels exiting. My dreams are dead and long gone. I wont amount to anything.

I feel like a f u c k i n g robot. One pill for psychosis, one for sleep, one for panic attacks, one for depression and anxiety. And the sh-it is not working.

I just want to feel alive again. I wish I could be able to focus on something.

I wake up, turn on the tv and I lay down on the couch and listen to the dialogue. I’m not even watching the thing.

It’s like my brain is not working. I want to learn things again. Everyone seem so occupied. Wrapped up in themselves. Working. I’m not doing anything. I don’t have anything to bring to the table.

People ask me what I’m doing and I don’t have an answer.

4 Likes
#2

Me too, do nothing,
But hey, you are here,
That the like an awareness,
Dont get into decisions or choices,
Take time, jot down things on what you are good at slowly :snail:
Its not the distance but the track we lay.

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#3

man, I used to be like you…I couldn’t find any purpose for myself…alone and overweight…not that you are overweight, that was my situation…now I’m happy after years of getting slowly better…try to find hope in things like some kind of hobby, maybe try reading even though I can only read four pages at a setting, I enjoy it.

3 Likes
#4

I’m angry because I’ve been on a diet for a month and haven’t lost any weight. I think I gained some. It’s annoying because I’ve been hungry for nothing.

I can’t do anything without feeling exhausted.

And now it’s hot during nighttime so I can’t sleep. I keep sweating. I opened the window but the bugs keep flying in.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t complain. At least the positives are at a minimum.

I’m glad that you are getting back in the game. It must feel awesome.

3 Likes
#5

I think you should tell these things to your pdoc…maybe he can get you on a med where you can lose weight.

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#6

I’ve read about Buspirone but don’t think they want to prescribe me an another med.

Perhaps I should go see my regular doc??

What meds are there for weight control??

#7

in the fifties you could get speed for diet pills…or a shot of speed…haha…I don’t know man…not making light of the sitch. I don’t know any…I am on generic prolixin , fluphenazine…lost all my extra weight on this med…

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#8

Yeah I know. They prescribed speed for weight loss.

I used to take ephedra 20 years ago before workouts. I think Anna Nicole Smith died from taking those??

#9

I know this feeling, dude.
Hopeless and desperate.
Things could be worse, though.

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#10

But you do stuff. You read, you play music. I can’t focus on anything. :frowning:

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#11

It will get better with time.
Don’t lose hope.
Did you go to the grocery store?

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#12

Yes I went yesterday. I bought a grilled chicken. Everything went fine. There were no people there because I went late.

How’s the reading going?? Any new books?

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#13

Good.
I got tired of reading,
so I’m having a break.

I have 3 unread books.

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#14

Which books are they?

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#15

2 works by Tolstoy
and one book with essays by a greek poet.

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#16

I still haven’t opened the book which I bought by the artist “Lucian Freud”. Perhaps some day lol.

It’s going to be +30c today. It’s really hot in my apartment. I don’t know how I’m going to sleep.

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#17

It’s 35° today here.
I’m going to the ATM to
take my disability money.

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#18

Don’t get robbed lol!!

1 Like