I start to get old,yeah… maybe I am a bit better on meds, yes… but even my sz sex buddy told me that my tempo with my recovery is real slow… yeah.
I am afraid from the future now,sometimes… did you had this? ok,ive been ill since forever but can it change? sooner? wow 
I’ve been experiencing a physical unease like fear but I think it’s a side effect of my AP.
I think too much in the evenings. essentially-bad things. maybe its my inactivity from all these years. I knew the weed in one room for 6 years with a present MI already :(… I should reassure all the time myself. maybe I am a bit hypocondriaque also maybe my condition is better than what I think sometimes isn’t it? its me who are hurting myself mostly…
Anna you talk about finding the right meds to help you.
There are no right meds - you have to help yourself.
You seem like a strong person, I think you can help yourself if you try. Yeh it’s hard, but life is hard for everyone, you know?
@Prospero, I know, I know. my meds are a bit help for me already. I try to open to my friends already, to my family. I avoid delusional and paranoid thinking. its strange but klonopin is really effective on my ‘‘bad’’ thinking… the problem is that I dont want to depend on klonopin… I try to reconnect to some sane feelings also and to stop living in my head. all this is a good thing isn’t it? thanks for your answers guys 
@Anna1 I can’t feel either… all i feel is bad stuff. It’s a symptom of schizophrenia, you don’t get enjoyment from things, and have little emotions, it’s ‘poverty of emotions.’
I can’t think either, because I have thoughts rushing through my head, I can’t concentrate on something.
Yeh I know it sucks bad, but you’re not the only one hm
1 Like
Anhedonia, it’s a negative symptom of schizophrenia
1 Like
yeah, the meds are a bit help but apparently, not everything. we should work on ourselves… its strange that only klonopin relieves my bad thoughts. I have them a lot sometimes. I feel guilty and bad because of it, so it sucks yeap… we keep going. there are a lot of schizophrenics who live happy here and outside :). maybe we can do it. Its per moments that I cant handle the pain anymore but maybe there is hope. its in the evenings that I think too much personnally. maybe cause I am always lonely at this time.
i remember pixel quoting from aa, i forget it exactly but ‘if nothing changes, nothing changes.’
go to the gym and burn off the effects of zyprexa. you might meet someone nice there? i know it’s hard but i think you can do it. exercise gives you a little high too, makes you feel good.
i know it’s hard, my life is very hard too.
Anna you have to make a conscious effort to make the gains yourself they’re never just going to come to you. That most often means weeks of discomfort and cloudy days that eventually become brighter.