Father screamed "You'll pay for this."

I was too little to know what was going on but I remember hearing him yell that at someone and I grew up with the idea that I wasn’t going to pay for anything because it was something horrible. It really affected me. A very real neurosis that affected my ability to work a job.

I suppose a person is never too young to be introduced to the concept of taxation by the state.

Yes, I felt intimidated by the state when I was a working woman.

My childhood similar memory was my dad and stepmother fighting when I had to live with them, when my mom had an operation. My stepmother yelled: well why don’t you go live in the nuthouse with your ex. Or something like that.

Don’t you wish that couples experienced a more serene life? I do.


I wish random people would use contraceptives before having an accidental child.


My parents left the contraceptive at home and that’s why I’m here.


My dad didn’t scream, that wasn’t his style with us kids. Never laid a hand on us but we did get spanked with a belt if we really screwed up. He told me that he walked on eggshells around me when I was growing up. My sister later told me that he told her the same thing about her.

I didn’t really fully understand until he divorced my mom and moved into my step-moms house. Then, I realized he had been holding back while I was growing up and now he could be himself and act like his true self. Now, I saw him interact with friends he had known for 50 years. And the pieces of the puzzle now made sense.

He had a rough and tumble upbringing, he was in a lot of fights in his life just like his friends and they were smoking and drinking and going to the worst bars and frequented the numerous "cathouses* (as he called them) from a young age in the 1950’s. He could cuss, fight, argue, drink and chase women with the best of them.

So yeah, I was a shy kid and naive so yeah, he held back. Not to say, I didn’t do a ton of cool things growing up, but yeah, he was just cooler and more worldly than me. He was nice guy though, and very intelligent, he could hold his own in most situations whether it was discussing politics, religion, world events or a myriad of other topics.

Of course I miss him, I got to know a lot about his life because we used to talk a lot throughout my disease. He was always there for me and I talked to him once a week until I was in my forties. I had got a pretty good recovery at that point and I would help him with his problems too! (Occasionally).

It seems you copied a lot of his behaviors before you got clean and sober. But, I think you have a better quality of existence in your present life. Certainly more secure.


There was that one evening that Mrs. Squirrel and I both reached for the remote at the same time and bumped hands. It was just horrible.

I dont know if its correct or not but

The Way We Speak to our Children Becomes Their Inner Voice


Well yeah, it came along with the territory.

Yes, my life became much more stable when I got clean.

Not sure what you’re trying to say, @velociraptor - that we have nothing to complain about compared to some?

My dad yelling or saying “pervert” at his neighbor. Who cares. There are perverts everywhere.

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Oh jc I realized your screen name is. Caffeine.

: ) Yes my screen name is caffeine

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