I’m having anxiety/panic attacks and i’m waiting to fall into sleep but i don’t know what time this is. I wait for my meds to kick in. Still suffering from intrusive thoughts and I’m thinking " why am i panicky and nervous when i think and see these things, i don’t think CBT will work for me." The only way to get better is not to have these thoughts in the first place. Even though that’s a cruel reality. Still afraid other people can see and hear my thoughts.
Last thing at night seems the worst for me with symptoms. Worth talking to pdoc on it for med tips. Also talk to your pdoc on sleeping piills. it’ll help.
Can be ‘thought insertion’ where you internal voice is hijacked. It happens as word or phrase that is not related to current train of though, environment or activities. It is artificial. It is bad joke. Some of it seems natural like a song stuck in your head, but other times you can just see it as part of the suffering of schizo.
This is most noticeable with kids or old folks, they start to talk about something they shouldn’t know or start to parrot your thoughts. This is why some act like they are possessed, when they are not. You shouldn’t respond to this stuff because the person has no clue what they are saying is upsetting to you. Just ignore it. It’s just part of the bad joke.
Mental care refuses to discuss this and calls it delusional. This is the shortcoming of mental care, the discussion of this kind of stuff and social problems of schizo is against policy for mental care to discuss. Unfortunately, this results in a lot of suffering for schizos. Especially the social problems, when all you need to know is a lot of people do not act right and will even stalk someone to verbally harass them about something private – this is how some of the mentally ill deal with their symptoms. I do not encourage this behavior as symptoms never stop for these and they can be very messed up people who ruin those around them. Some of these people can be fine, and will try to pick you up for dates trying to tell you something private about yourself. You can test this out for a while to see if you have the nasty weirdos saying hello of some good people who later made themselves friends. Some communities have a lot of people who will really be hostile toward schizo and run the person out of town even, force-ably…
Back to the mental care, you can never get angry with your care or you will be locked up in mental hospital at your own expense for as long as the Drs can justify. Most lose their employment and some even go homeless.
Your anxiety may actually be a false symptom too…It may dial down in a few minutes even. You might keep asking the voices why you are hearing it. Do not follow orders to do anything…When I stayed alone in city & neighborhood kind of freaked me out due to gang stalkers threatening me, I slept with chair on apartment door. This helped my stress.
I also suggest you ditch any person you may have been fighting with just prior to onset of your symptoms or if you found a group of people who are verbally abusive to you/harass you. Do not talk to anyone you met through the group. DO NOTHING CONFRONTATIONS, just silent treatment if you start to run into him/her in public or just say ‘we’re good’ and walk away…Do not discuss whatever this person told you, ignore the voices, do not talk aloud to self, never follow orders from the voices, and sometimes you can get remission from schizo symptoms in 2-3 years.
The insomnia is a much harder problem to deal with. Seroquel is best drug I found. Taken at bed time, chopped into pieces, you can get a good sleep. Ambien is helpful if you have an extra stubborn streak of stress. If you get too heavy, you can take seroquel and ambien together for sleep results but you will sleep more than 12 hours at a stretch using this. I would see if Melatonin supplements help your sleep. You need to take it for 2 weeks to see results. Cutting caffeine, do not eat more than snack before bed, regular exercise and your sleep may be more stable. (Warning on the ambien. My state treats ambien as a narcotic so you cannot refill it even a day early. If you gain weight, the ambien dosage may become ineffective, so you take two pills sometimes. If you take more than one pill, you will have to do stints of 2-3 days without sleep at end of each month. This is why getting involved with the sleep meds can be a real hell, more problem than solution.)