Failure 2020

I am like you, I rely on my parents for everything, they get my meds, my food, clean my room, house me, etc I know that no one can help us bcz we can’t even help ourselves. In my case the cayse is severe negative symptoms, I stay in bed all day everyday, only get up to eat. In bed I either sleep or on this forum.

I am 30y.o. and will always live with my parents.
We’re lucky to have family members taking care of us, otherwise I would be in sleeping in the streets and homeless if not dead.

I can’t even manage money or live on my own, I have addiction issues. Are you able to manage your own money and have a bank account?
My parents receive all my disability money directly into their bank account.

Money management is the one practical thing I’m reasonably good at. The credit card is paid off in full each month by direct debit. I can be a little impulsive at times, but not to the point I’ve accumulated a mass of debt.

I don’t stay in bed all day, but I am very sedentary. For me there’s an unholy alliance between organising and planning/multi step task difficulties and what might be seen as negative symptoms .

However if I can help others in a way that utilises my strengths, I happily do so.

Without getting too political I do think there is a belief being spread,irresponsibly, from the top that needing support is a character flaw…Unfortunately that pile of steaming crap is swallowed hook,line and sinker by a large part of the general population.

I’ve had a fair amount of criticism ,including here, but very little in the way of help and support to lessen the effects of any cognitive difficulties. That’s because there’s a presumption by many that your verbal and non-verbal abilities will automatically be quite evenly matched .

Generally that’s true , but if not how things are for you then the failure of health/mental health professionals to pick up on that , and thus provide needed help and support, can result in significant, negative consequences.

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A fairly old article, but a good one nonetheless.

@firemonkey you very clearly work your hardest with whatever you are doing. You are helpful and supportive to others here. I think you do an excellent job at being aware of mental illness and providing advise towards others. You are unselfish and kind. I’ve noticed this about you since I’ve been here. So even if you feel you are selfish, you are not. So yah, you have things to struggle through, but you also have so many strengths that you should acknowledge as well.

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It is not good to talk about yourself in those terms. You have a debilitating illness. It is not your fault.

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I also feel the same, its like if we are aliens to other ppl, truth is that they’re trying to help but it doesn’t work, we can’t help ourself because of severe negative symptoms. Some users here also see my negative symptoms as a character flaw and blame me for it.

Just ignore ppl who blame your personality for your negative symptoms, that’s what I do.

I think I’m rather like you ; i.e I have little practical intelligence. That results in scores like this .

and great difficulty with non-verbal,practical tasks.

On the other hand-

comes in useful on forums . Those are verbal based results .

??? You are NOT a failure.

I’m the same. I received a good education and went abroad, which is something not a lot of people get.

Getting help doesn’t mean that you’re a failure! We all need help in some ways.

For me age is a factor. If help had come several decades ago things could have been considerately different. In your case with the right meds and support you could do well.

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My father has shown a degree of guilt at my going to boarding school. That’s been in the last couple of decades, rather than when I was going there. To be fair it’s a tricky one for a father in the diplomatic service. Prep and public school provide educational continuity in a way that can’t be obtained in going to school wherever your father or mother are posted. It’s just that I wasn’t suited to it.

@firemonkey you seem to get very angry every time someone says to try. You say you already have many times.

That’s how I measure success. The trying. Not if you actually do the thing, but try to and keep trying.

Life is not how many times you get knocked down, but how many times you get up and keep going.

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Disappointed? yes
Hurt?- yes
Angry? no

Dude, you claimed I made false accusations when I quoted you, then threatened to leave again. That’s not hurt and disappointed.

You get mad. And that’s ok.

You really need to talk with about your self doubt and dislike to a therapist. Do you have one? Because self destruction serves no purpose except to hurt yourself.

@firemonkey,

I suggested you buy a $3.00 plunger to unblock your toilet by yourself, and you’ve been ranting and raving for the last week about how unfair we all are to you and how none of us understand.

You get super defensive whenever somebody suggests you try something different to better yourself and your situation. Nobody on this forum is out to get you. On the contrary, we’re all trying to help you live a more satisfying and rewarding life.

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I had ordered a plunger.

If I had known there was no plunger earlier I would have got one earlier.

I’m not against help, far from it. It however shouldn’t be based on false assumptions. That’s not being defensive, but wanting a response that’s based on the facts as mentioned. That is a perfectly reasonable expectation .

I always scored well on the IQ tests, but I lack social skills, my manual dexterity is awful, and I am so anxious when I am around people that I make them anxious. Test scores do not really tell that much.

I’m very much the same. I think those born 2 or so decades after you and I , with such difficulties, are more fortunate due to there being more recognition and support for such things . You’d think having greater recognition of problems and more support would make such people more understanding of how it was for people from my decade/generation , but sadly that’s not the case in a substantial minority of cases.

They’ll take the support given, while berating people like myself for having tried without such professional support and not succeeding.