Hello everybody, I posted here for the first time about 17 days ago about my extreme paranoia and some of my symptoms and I’m updating now. Unfortunately, things have gotten worse. The paranoia is worse now. I honestly can’t do anything with thinking someone is trying to kill. In highschool I used to be dedicated to the gym and even started working out 2x a day. Now I can’t go to the gym. I walk in think people have guns pointed on me threw the windows. I run on the track and think the people behind me are holding a gun up to my back. I lift weights and people on the second floor have a bow and arrow pointed on me.
This is so frustrating for me. Schizophrenia is in my family history and my uncle has so I always new There was a chance I would get it and have worried about it but It is starting to affect me. I know that I’m going through the prodronal phases. I drive and I see shadows pass me. I lay down in bed and I see bugs in the walls. I have this thought that there is s a snake hiding inside my back and the only way to get it out of my thoughts are to like get it out of my ear while thinking about it. As typing this I realize these thoughts are ■■■■■■ up but they affect me so much and won’t leave my mind
I’m a freshman in college and I know it’s only a wait til I lose it completely. It scared me because I honestly just want to live a happy successful life. This ■■■■ I’m going through makes me just want to scream at the top of my head and just ■■■■■■■ go bezerk. It’s so ■■■■■■■ scary I can’t describe it in words to be honest. The paranoia is just destroying me. I can’t even conversate anymore because of the paranoia. I can’t focus anymore because of the paranoia. I’m ■■■■■■■ scared and wish there was a way to stop this but I know there’s not. It’s a waiting game and then I will be medicated for the rest of my life. I’m just trying to stay positive through this but it’s really hard.
I’m currently eating extremely healthy taking vitiman and fish oil and all that ■■■■ but is not helping.
Well, thanks for listening and feel free to post your thoughts on this. About to head back to my dorm because these thoughts are too strong to workout with.
Also, I am totally in control of myself so don’t worry about me doing something stupid. It is just the paranoia and unusual thoughts and concentration problems that are screwing me. I have way more unusual thoughts but that would take to long to deceive what goes through my head.
You should tell a doctor about this, you described things well in your post and should tell them the exact same thing.
I completely understand how you feel. Every time I’d see an ambulance drive by, or an airplane, I feel like “they” are watching me and out to kill me. And what’s worse is that the voices completely support my every paranoid thought. It feels like the FBI SWAT team is in my neighbor’s backyard waiting to shoot at me an destroy me with every breath I take. The only thing that keeps me going is to tell myself is that the voices and paranoia are not real. And 1) It gets better 2) there are people (or furbabies: my dog) who care about you and love you. It is difficult, but it makes us so much stronger, each day we get through. And you are already smarter than a lot of people with the illness bc you recognize that it is genetic. I thought it was real, until my dad says he hears voices and he told me that my aunt and uncle spent years in and out of psych wards. You have to take it day by day. I told my mom that I feel like I died the moment I started hearing voices and was involuntarily sent to a mental hospital. She said keep praying, keep living, keep fighting and stay strong. I’ve been taking Vitamin Bs and fish oil, trying to stay off the potent stuff, but the voices have hindered my life for six years, so I will try the meds. God Bless you and please hang in there! You are not going through this alone. **Hugs
Thank you for the response. I have not been diagnosed. I do not hear voices atsept late at night but they are very quiet and not too bothersome but I do have visual hallucinations. I’m 18. I believe I am in the late prodromal state.
Hi - I recommend you get a full evaluation at an early psychosis treatment center. They can tell you if you are getting psychosis and can help you if you are - and most of them are free:
Too bad there’s none in florida. Closest one is 8 hours away.
But I do appreciate the response! I was looking at that about a month ago.
Actually - I think there are two in florida. Check this out. Call to see if there is a fee.
Florida EPIC Program Offers Hope to Those in Early Stages of Illness with Psychosis
Life Management Center is one of only two facilities in Florida to now offer the Early Psychosis Intervention and Care (EPIC) program to provide treatment to those in early stages of mental illness with psychosis. The evidence-based program is a comprehensive approach to providing services for the patient and their loved one. The program is open to anyone in Bay County, between the ages of 16 and 35 and who has received less than 12 months of treatment for psychosis. For more information, contact us at email@example.com or call (850) 522-4485.
Thank you. I think I’m going to set up an appointment.
Good - its important to get evaluated as quickly as possible. If you do have psychosis - the sooner you get treated, the better the outcome!