Hello friends. A quck story of me- 25 years old male from Europe. Since i know myself i’ve suffered from different types of paranoia. I had some delusions when i was in early and then in late teens that i was subject of spying by someone or group of people. It never went to far though i did realized its just in my head and it went away on its own. I was completely paranoia- free from then till last summer. I also want to point out i do all the things in my life under control- for example if i say i wont drink this month, i absolutely wont to id, perhaps even if my life depends on it. If i tell myself to go out and run in 4 am i will do it. If not i always fear that it would be as if i betrayed myself and and i should compensate it with ever more running (or punishing myself somehow). Doing this really helps me in my life to achive my goals, although it may seem as disorder to someone. So lets get back to the story…
In the summer of 2016 i lived with my girlfriend in a rent apartment. It was summer- i was free, great time. One morning while i was sleeping (i was alone that morning), i heard noises from the other room and on panic went to check whats going on. It was the landowner who came because he had to take measures for the heating system. He said he called me on the phone few times the privious night and in the morning and in fact he did- my phone was with SOUND OFF so i never heard him. The guy appologized and left. A few days later i started to panic he did something or was ill minded toward me. Slowly i started to develop all types of fear- that the hacked my laptop, my phone, everything like that. Eventually i gave up i just reinstalled the pc, bought a new phone and deleted all my accounts- facebook and so on, I deleted all my photos and everything, including my girlfriend. I was becoming isolated so we slpit up. She tried to recconect with me but my paranoia never let me because i started to accuse her as well. I told myself i will never contact with her no matter how hard things get. It was horrible but i survived it.I knew this is just paranoia - but i simply could not sleep beliveing some knows my passwords and so on. So after that i moved to different place, things started to go ok.
The worst thing happned in December. I was home with my parents. I had a horrible cold a few weeks before that and i was coughing ever since. My mom, who is a doctor, said she will run some blood samples just to make sure everything is ok. In fact she used to check me every year or so just for protective measures. So in the morning she came to my room and took some blood from me. However, whe she finished, she accidentally dropped the blood storage tube under the bad, She found it at the moment and than went to do her things. A day later all of sudden when i was going to sleep i started to ask my self- what if she accidentally tooks different blood tube. Ofcourse it made no sence, how would another blood tube be placed exactly under the bed where she dropped mine. But than my mind started to create all type of scenarios- including that it could have been to some other patient or what soever. It bugged me for a while and i talked to her. She assured me it sounded impossible, but she said that even if by some miracle such mistake did happned, there is nothing to worry because such mistakes happen in hospitalas and eveywhere. But than i started to think if this tests were order by the governent (yea, things start to get crazy from here), because, for example, my pc was hacked and used for some hacker attacks (when i was living on that rental apartment in the summer), and now secret services wanter to dake dna sample and somehow forced my mother to take the tests. But the governmet nor my mother knew there was another blood samples under the bad and now the government was fooled by the mistaken probe and thinks this different dna is mine. And what if this dna was connected by some terrorst cell (they may somoehow be connected with the landowner where i lived), and now i get accused of something i never did? What if the government had camera watching my mother while taking my blood but they somehow missed the fact that she dropped the tube and mistakenly took the wrong one and now no one knows the truth.The scenarios are endless but in the end they also came to conclusion that i was mistakenly taken for someone evil, becuase of this mistaken DNA.
Now this is the the thing my mind keeps creating. There is no end- new and new scenarios everynight. A horrible conspiracy that somehow managed to full the government and now they are after me. Now i know how this sound which is why i wont share it with anyone. I told what i think only to my mother. She said it’s really bad if i really think this way and those test have absolute no importance, no one was watching and even if some mmistake happed these secret services will atleast request another test because mistakes do happen. And my rational thinking says the same. Even if i was set up and something like that happened, there will be investigation, trial, or atleas confirmation test again on special labolatories, not to mention what was the possiblity of secret tube hidden under the bed- How will the terrorists (or whoever wanter to set me up) knew where exactly will my blood be taken and how they’ve guessed mmy mother will accidantely drop it right there, I kept checking under the bed to find something but there was nothing. But i only started to think about that a day after it happened, so i assumed the terorrists already took the real probe to destroy it,and no ammount of searching will help me for it.I also keep asking my self how would secret services fail to notice that the tube was dropped- they should immidiatelly suspect something fishy going on there), and also even if somehow the wrong dna went for testing they will take me for interigation, do another test and so on and so on.
But my crazy mind keeps assisting- there will be no more blood tests, the terrorist managed to fool the government and now they will do something terrible to me (although i have no idea why, but i will never found out), This makes me feel horrible. Like i am doomed with no hope. I keep looking the days before that blood test and i was so happy, ever since i live in horror paranoia and panic. I keep trying to hide it but some social isolation is already taking place. The worst is i know this is just my mind, but this 0.000000000000000000000001 % possibilty that something like this have happened drives me crazy.
There was a distant relative of mine who was having mental issues (she is gone 
), but no one else sufferes from anything. But it seems i do. During the day when i am out working or with friends i stop thinking about it, but when i am alone it keeps coming hard. At one poin i even though for suicide, but then i told myself that if i commit it it may seem as if was guilty for something, so i need to keep living to prove the truth that i did nothing wrong.
So can you believe this guys. I my self cant. Such mental trauma for something so stupid and unreal for the normal people, but nightmare for me. In the moments when i think normally and rationally i say to myself- ok, you are going crazy. There are billions of people outhere, millions taking blood test, and even if some mistake did happened police will take me for investigation, i will prove i’ve done nothing wrong, i will give new tests to show the truth, and let them investigate what really happened. Mistakes, incidents and things like that happen all the time, that is why things like investigation exists.
But in moments of crisis i say- there is some world dictator like Stalin or Hitler who doesnt care for investigation, he will not believe the blood was mistaken and will execute something horrible on me without even care trying to figure out what happened.And i believe that this will counite even after i die- Like they will expose my body somewhere, for commiting this i never did.
I hope you unerstand me guys, this thing is in my head and i try to hide it. But i just want the whole world to understand such mistake may have happened. Sometimes i just can’t sleep at all. I had paranoia in the past as well (believeing i was hacked and so on) but not at this extent. This is beyond anything i ever had . I manage to live with it tough, i am not and never have been depressed, i just live in fear. Everytime when i will happy i remember about the test and i lose my happines. When i go in my room at my parents house i remember that moment.
If someone can advice me something, i will be happy. Thanks 