Schizophrenia.com

Extreme fear of Men: delusion?


#1

I have an extreme fear of Men. I don’t feel safe around them. If one tries to get close to me I will start backing away, sweating and shaking. If i am touched by a man I feel like I have to scrub that area and wash it sometimes to the point where I am rubbing away skin. If I am alone in a room with a man I try to get out, if cornered I start backing into a corner and shaking, sweating, panicking… my fiancee ‘K’ has found me rocking back and forth in a room she said i was in for hours after the event.

I work in a field where I do not come in contact with many people throughout the day. There is 2 males on my software development team and I keep my distance. I can talk to them but I maintain my distance. I have talked to 2 men this month for the first time in 15 years over the internet and I managed to be ok.

I feel horrible that I am this way towards all men. I understand that the trauma and abuse I received at the hands of a few does not mean that every man will hurt me … but I can’t shake these feelings. Is this a delusion and a result of the Sz or a flight response to the past trauma? I feel like a hurt puppy with its tail tucked between its legs and every time i see someone raise a belt I flinch, shake and cry.

Has anyone else been through this? What did you do to get over it? Is this likely a result of Sz or is it the trauma? I don’t want to be afraid of men all my life.

P.S. I am still looking for a therapist/psychiatrist locally. I have a potential dr that I attempted to make an appointment with yesterday and they were busy. I left a message and I am waiting to hear back.


#2

Sasha, It sound more like PTSD than a delusion. I’ve known rape victims who have similar responses. It does sound like you’re making some progress on the issue though.


#3

I’m a guy and I have what I would say an apprehension around men. I don’t like those type of guys who pat you on the shoulder and say ‘buddy’ or “pal” and they don’t even know you very well, or at all. I hate mens joking around homosexual antics. I seem to attract that because I can relate to girls more and occasionally have feminine mannerisms.
I can’t stand that stuff when they do it, even if they are just joking. Though when I was younger I had some actual homosexual advances made towards me a few times…
I will do my best to avoid it, and them.
When I do associate with men it is a reserved association.
I only seem to have deep meaningful conversations with girls, with the exception of a few guys online, and maybe a couple in my entire life in 3D.

Probably the PTSD / trauma, exacerbated by the Sz so it becomes a kind of paranoia.


#4

great post. This contrasts with my fear of women post. I was sexually abused my a woman as a little boy. It is trauma, not your schizophrenia. I have the same problem, to a lesser extent though, I feel sick when I feel for a girl but I dont completely break down.

Therapy will do you lots of good. But just a heads up, they will try to cognitively treat you but its likely that exposure therapy will be implemented. You don’t have to do it, but is has been proven to work quite well.

I myself struggle with a fear of women, I am extremely masculine and hard-boiled. You’ve probably read that I am a powerlifter and am almost master rank as of today. With three more months of training I will most likely be a very accomplished lifter. Im a great student and all of that narcissistic crap too. I just play the role of being strong because I have deep insecurities. You also highly function, I know it’s harder to function with schizophrenia than to not. Kudos for facing your fears and being strong. Stay strong.

Just take it slowly and carefully. I was gagging as I was carrying on a text conversation with a girl last night. It’s hard but we will overcome our fears and be healthier individuals in time.


#5

I have a fear of both, and a fear of myself as one of them.


#6

You have a valid fear. But you take it to the extreme.You can’t trust all men. But I think mentally ill women have to be careful that men don’t prey on you because of your disease. Women aren’t afraid of me. I see a pretty women and I look. I don’t stare, I mean them no harm. I know the majority of women have no interest in me except maybe to say a polite hello. I get a lot of ‘hellos’ from young women in their twenties where I work. I think they are just trying to figure me out. They start it, all I do is answer ‘hello’. Am I supposed to be rude and scowl? I just say ‘hello’ to anyone, male or female who says hello to me. But I don’t know what to tell you. You have an irrational fear that is very real to you. Men like to look at women and talk to them. Some have ulterior motives but not all of us.


#7

I am from Russia, I live in the US.


#8

OK. My error…I edited it.


#9

i was abused as a very young child, what you are experiencing is ptsd i am doing this in my trauma cbt, well i will be when it starts and my therapist thinks i am strong enough !!
what you are feeling is normal for what you have experienced, go easy on your self and i hope you find a really good therapist you can confide in and trust.
i am a guy and my therapist is female because i don’t like talking to guys, face to face, but i am working on this.
take care