Exam week day 1

When I was waiting to take a test on Friday, so many people came by to talk to me and asked how I was doing. I was thankful for them saying hello, but I was so confused why they would say hi because I believed there is no virtue in saying hi to me. I don’t understand their compliments, and the small talk that they do before heading off to the next exam. Yes- thank you for paying attention to me- but am I really worth a portion of your time?

Also, while we were waiting in the corridor, a giant house centipede appeared and tried to crawl on one of the classmates that was sitting on the floor. We were freaking out and screaming because the centipede was quite big and didn’t want to budge. So I did what I could- kill the centipede with my mobility aid. Everyone cheered over the centipede’s demise. I told my mother this and she scolded me saying that I was showing off and being a nuisance to everyone. I didn’t understand this because you wouldn’t want to keep the students screaming while there are tests being taken around the hallway. So I didn’t understand my mom’s words because I did what I could do.

Is killing a bug a cultural thing? I was so confused.

Anyway, the interaction I had on Friday made me realize I have more acquantinces than I realized. But I’m not sure if those interactions are genuine or they’re just saying in obligation because they feel sorry for my disability. I don’t think I’m that great of a person and not really worth their time. I’m thankful nonetheless, though.


Don’t overanalyze everything and put yourself down. Just enjoy the fact that some nice people are treating you nice. Those people are what normal people are like; get used to it and make sure you’re friendly back to them.

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I’m just assuming that they would change their mind once they find out I have psychosis. A lot of people have had done that in my life.

Nonetheless I’m thankful that these people are willing to be nice to me, although it makes me question if they’re being genuine or they’re doing it out of pity. I always make sure I’m nice to them- I’m never nasty towards other people.

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