I put this in this category because it seemed a little too serious to be in the lounge. So everyone knows that I recently spent time in the hospital because I had a mental breakdown. Well since then I’ve been depressed. My fiancé has been under a lot of stress as well. Last night something set me off and I started screaming at him, which got us into a huge fight that ended in him threatening to leave me, me begging him to stay, him breaking down in tears and confessing that he snorted heroin, and then him begging me not to leave him. Basically the past 24 hours have been the most horrible hours of both of our life. He told me that he’s been worried about me being in love with my ex for our entire relationship, and the stress from constantly being afraid to lose me has driven him into depression and drug use. I admitted to him that the unplanned pregnancy, my feelings for my ex, and our desperate financial situation have driven me to depression and have had a profound effect on my commitment to our relationship. Once we stopped screaming at each other and confessing all the bad things we think about each other, we sat down and after several hours, many tears, a lot of hugging, and mutual confessions of suicidal thoughts, we came to our conclusion. He went into the bathroom and flushed every single speck of drugs that he owns, and I blocked my ex on all social media. We’ve given ourselves three months. In that three months, I need to get over my ex, he needs to be drug free, we’re going to see a couples therapist, and we’re going to communicate and actually start being there for each other. We agreed that we love each other and that we don’t want to lose what we have. We made some hot chocolate, sat down on the couch, and have spent the entire night just communicating openly. I hope we can fix what we have. I don’t want us to fall apart. I love him, he loves me, and we want our relationship to get back on track in time for the arrival of our son. Any advice on how we can start making our relationship healthier?
Well it sounds like you guys are working things out. I wish you the best of luck in the future.
idk what else you could do, couples therapy is a great idea just hope it doesnt cost you guys too much money, why dont you guys go nice places together, eat out, and i hope you have an easy birth and all is well, when are you due btw?
May 16th which annoyingly is the day before my birthday lol we’re gonna make an effort to start doing more together and actually enjoying each other’s company. We’re gonna go see the new Star Wars movie real soon. Hopefully Monday
It’s a good start @PrincessKenny
Couples therapy is a great idea
But make sure that you get enough help for you and your baby as well.
Sounds like you are not giving up.
This sounds promising.
Happy New Years to you @PrincessKenny
Happy New Years to you to 
we’re definitely trying to make things work. I think my next doctor’s appointment is in a couple of weeks, so hopefully my fiancé and I have at least kind of put our relationship back together by then. It’s hard to be excited about having a kid when your relationship is hanging on by a thread
Sometimes thing have to hit that horrible point of rock bottom before they can get better. Just talking openly and honestly was and is a huge step towards healing your relationship, openness and honesty are two of the most important factors in any relationship. Do something fun together that you both enjoy, even if it’s something totally daft - when you can have a little time that is relaxed, carefree, and just fun, when you can laugh about something together and touch on a moment of real happiness, I think it helps to strengthen your bond. Every little moment counts, having a moment of joy together, sharing a moment of laughter, looking at the happiness on your partner’s face, I think is really special.
Oh Kenny… I’m so sorry you had this awful fight and that you are depressed and going through so much now. I really hope you can mend the relationship. It’s good that you can talk about things and that you both want the relationship to survive. I think doing something fun together is a very good suggestion. Also, try to keep talking openly with each other, even when you’ve not been fighting. Communication is essential, and so is enjoying each other’s company. Another thing you could do is to show him with words and actions that you love him and want to be only with him. Maybe you could give him a gift or tell him more often what you appreciate about him. Just make him feel loved.
Good luck! I really hope this ends well. 
That sounded like a really well thought out, articulate post. Even seemed to have a little therapy experience in there the two of you. Maybe your relationship is meant to last. Not too many couples can come to mutual agreement like that and set new rules. I’m no counselor but it sounds as if you guys are off to a good start.
It sounds like you both are really trying to make this relationship work. That’s a good beginning. If your boyfriend is going to quit snorting heroin he needs your help. That could test you both. It might get harder before it gets easier. Let your boyfriend know that you are there for him, but you have also got to understand that he has to do this for himself. You might look for a support group to help you through this difficult time.
I agree. We need more of those little everyday moments together. We’ve been so focused on always wanting to do big things together like travel and go on vacations, and that’s been stressing us out more because we don’t have the money. But it doesn’t cost anything to just sit on the couch, watch a movie, and laugh together. Thanks for reminding me of that
Thank you. I haven’t been very good at letting him know I love him recently. No wonder he thinks I don’t love him. I really do need to stop taking him for granted and just try to make an effort to show him that I love him
Thank you, that’s really encouraging to hear that you and everyone else thinks we have a shot at fixing things
I’m going to be there for him as much as I can, but I made it clear to him that if he doesn’t stop, I’m going to have to leave. People with mental illness are more prone to developing drug addictions, if he’s on drugs he won’t be there for me when I need him, and I can’t watch him kill himself. I love him more than anything, but i need to do what’s best for myself. If I have to spend all my time caring for a partner with a drug addiction, it’ll just end up destroying me
That’s exactly the right attitude to have.
I’m just scared of what will happen to him if I left. He said that without me life means nothing and that he would overdose if I left. I don’t doubt him at all honestly
It sounds like he is manipulating you to me. You have to realize that you have only a certain amount of control over this situation. Do the best you can for him, but if he starts to take you down with him you might have to let him go. You can’t make his decisions for him.
Is your bf going into drug rehab? It’s good that he wants to stop the heroin but he’d probably have a better shot at it with professional help.
Yeah he said he wants to get better so I won’t leave. I keep telling him he has to want it for himself too, not just me. If I’m the only reason he gets up in the morning, that’s not healthy. What if I break up with him? What if I get killed in a car crash or something? What if I’m just not there anymore for whatever reason? He has to be able to motivate himself
He doesn’t wanna go to rehab but I made him promise that if he does it even one more time he has to go to rehab and he agreed