Their thoughts sink into my skin, I’m dying inside just to breathe in.
They say I look happy and healthy but this disguise was designed to deflect all that I cannot show them.
Dear sanity, come back to me. You have ran away down a rabbit hole and have landed 6 feet underground but every time I try to reach you, these people around me make me stop. I may be numb to my emotions but I am not to theirs. Every time I reach into the rabbit hole, I hear their cries and despair saying “We want you here”.
But when I stay I am expected to pay a price for taking up matter…a price to pay for being made up of billions of atoms and I cannot fathom my direction no longer.
You say you will save me from them but it is you that they want to save me from. I am torn between two worlds, only one of which I am beginning to understand but the other will hold me in their warm hands and say “Good girl. You are good enough for me”.
Call another psychiatrist and tell him or her that you took an overdose yesterday. Tell them you are paranoid and psychotic too. Tell them you are suicidal.
I’m so sorry you are going through this tough period! Please go to the emergency room if you are feeling suicidal. Please see another psychiatrist if not. You need to get this resolved and you need someone more caring and concerned!
