One time I was on a roll, studying mathematics at the Open University,after onset of schizophrenia
and despite delusions, hallucinations hostile attitude by people around at the military and trouble concentrating,
and then a bout of psychosis brought me down.
Then I started exercising, reached good exercise capacity, and then intrusive thoughts forced me to take
olanzapine, which brought me to near death.
And now, as I again get to improve my physical form, as I start solving jigsaw puzzles, hope to learn
Arabic and maybe study Mathematics at Open University, here we go again:
Intense intrusive thoughts, creating bugs so that I won’t be able to play chess on chess24,
and especially intense intrusive thoughts and voices that suck out my energy and push me toward either
a completely fruitless, thoughtless move abroad, or toward taking very debilitating medications that will cause
me death or at least weaken me in a terrible way.