Every time I try to rise, Israel pulls me down

One time I was on a roll, studying mathematics at the Open University,after onset of schizophrenia
and despite delusions, hallucinations hostile attitude by people around at the military and trouble concentrating,
and then a bout of psychosis brought me down.

Then I started exercising, reached good exercise capacity, and then intrusive thoughts forced me to take

olanzapine, which brought me to near death.

And now, as I again get to improve my physical form, as I start solving jigsaw puzzles, hope to learn

Arabic and maybe study Mathematics at Open University, here we go again:

Intense intrusive thoughts, creating bugs so that I won’t be able to play chess on chess24,

and especially intense intrusive thoughts and voices that suck out my energy and push me toward either

a completely fruitless, thoughtless move abroad, or toward taking very debilitating medications that will cause

me death or at least weaken me in a terrible way.

Maybe a puzzle might mellow your mood. Keeping yourself occupied is a good distraction

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