Every day is a struggle

Thanks for sharing. I’m back in the U.S.A now so it will be easier to talk with a doctor and share my concerns. I haven’t had any treatment while I was in Thailand, just someone to buy Haldol from.

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I have suffered from Schizophrenia for almost 20 years, been in and out of hospitals most of my life, and the only thing that honestly keeps me going is that I set a goal for myself of the kind of life that I want, and the kind of things I want to change in the world, and just work toward them in the right way. I recommend listening to yourself about what you think might be the root cause of what brings on negative symptoms or might be a trigger and strengthen yourself to be strong against them. For me, one of the triggers had been stress, so I have been learning how to deal with stress and stressful situations better. There’s a lot we are capable of as beings that we often feel we aren’t so as stereotypical as it sounds, seriously go for your dreams. Meds can help, but above all we are beings, not the drug we are on.

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Keep on fighting dude.

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I want some decent money in my pocket but I’m lazy and lack motivation… Thanks for sharing about your battle and journey. I’ve only been hospitalized once at the beginning of the illness and then I lived in a homeless shelter for the mentally ill for a few months. those were the low points. I managed to finish Uni and spent the last 7 years living mostly in Asia… But certain triggers with have caused me to degress recently.

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Thank you for sharing VanDam. I heard this really cool philosophy that when we aren’t motivated about things or feel like we aren’t going anywhere with them it’s because we need to keep searching for what motivates us. It gives the idea that you are actually not lazy and unmotivated, but actually your self is searching for what to be motivated about and to pursue. I’ve been looking at it like that and it makes me accepting myself better, and from what i have seen it’s true.

that makes a lot of sense. Actually I am motivated about what I’m passionate about…

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I hear you. I might increase my meds, too.
But my mom doesn’t know that I have relapsed and now I’m having symptoms again.
I almost tried to end my life yesterday. It was horrible.

I’m sorry to hear that. I was a bit suicidal yesterday too. It always helps to hold the knowledge in mind that the feelings are very impermanent. Now is another day. You are in South Korea? Your English writing skills are very good.

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I studied at the University of Calgary for 3 years, majoring in English.
And I studied in Canada for 10 years- so that might be why, haha.
I’m South Korean, but I spent nearly a decade in Canada.

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I just flew back to America from Thailand on Korean Air. It’s a really nice airline. Had a layover in Seoul but I’ve never been in the country. I teach some Korean’s English online though.

I found a change of medication to be helpful for the suicidal ideations.

My own situation is now much better after changing from risperidone to abilify.

Searching for research on schizophrenia also helps me.

I am a Chinese, I spent more than a decade in Australia. So I hope my English is as good as yours. :grinning:

Sorry about hijacking your thread for a while. @VanDam

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@VanDam I have no clue what you are passionate about but as a Chinese I’d say you are very welcome to China to teach English. Actually you could apply for a position in an international school in China.They teach kids literature and math in English. I heard that kind of job offers good salary. And you know well how Chinese students behave in the classroom.

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Thanks but I don’t want to live in China :slight_smile:

I’ve already been 7 years all over Asia, including teaching in Taiwan. My girlfriend is Chinese but we may come back to America…

Lots of times, every minute is a struggle. I don’t care; I have many great moments in a day too.

I learned I have to take the bad with the good, no one is going to be happy or content all the time When you have this disease you just got to accept that you’re going to have crappy days. It’s hard to accept but you can’t avoid it, you just have to make the most out of the times when things aren’t too terrible.

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