Ever hallucinate your being tortured and feel it?

I don’t expect people to believe (but maybe other schizophrenics are more likely to?). I know it’s impossible to prove, but I do believe it for myself. I think it’s 100% real. I remember dozens (and several dozen facts or more) or more previous lives but it’s hard to tell them independently from one another. I remember in some lives, I was a bad person. I did bad things like kill people. Maybe I’m being eternally punished for this. I also believe if I wasn’t so disabled and medicated I would be a bad person in this universe. I mean I have bad thoughts and sometimes feel like a psychopath. I mean I was diagnosed with anti-social personality disorder in one of the parallel universes. I believe we share similar traits among different universes. That’s my thought. I was diagnosed with Aspergers and I think it explains my limited empathy. I do have limited empathy. I struggle with this and wish I had more empathy.

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Psychosis was torture, they know this.

If i don’t torture meself with drugs then they torture me.

And at times i am also physically harmed.

Sometimes tortured in my dreams as well.

And it’s always just “kill yourself. kill yourself. kill yourself. kill yourself.”

@pansdisease get that too, the kill yourself phenomenon, it’s really exhausting. Better to live one day as someone else than me. But we struggle for redemption.

@astefano I wouldn’t say you are guilty of your past counter parts, but that you must create an outlet for them, you know, like maybe make them like outer beings that need to find their flight. You can’t take all internally, you will never be able to hone up to their lives. You are a good person, and should only express your own life.

In waking states, yes. I felt I was having my brain slapped or hit and I thought my brain was beginning to bleed at some point from all the damage. I also hallucinated that my foot was being stabbed, I had sharp pains running through my foot - I saw visions of a butcher cutting raw meat too, and that made me incredibly panicked.

In sleep states I’ve felt myself get tossed in fire, bitten, and even shot.

I don’t know what’s wrong with my mind or why it’s so violent. I mean, I can handle it but why should I have to in the first place? Good grief, I want an explanation for all of this conscious mess.

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I also have tons of memories of my past lives and remember more all the time. I have been coming to earth for some time now. So long that I’ve started resisting coming back…anyways you’re not alone.

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Thanks. Do you have any theories on why this happens? I believe it’s a cyclic universe or parallel universes or both.

Father told me we come to the physical plane over and over to learn and grow. This is a “higher education” of sorts for spirits. Though who knows. I feel a lot of things he tells me he seriously over-simplifies because I wouldn’t understand otherwise. Sometimes he doesn’t even attempt to explain things and tells me he could take eternity talking about it and I still wouldn’t get it. Huh.

Anyways I’m done learning. I want my degree and I want to go home dang it!

Anna, you probably have other conditions not expressed on this forum, though become obvious to some. I hope you do get that degree, though, and keep reaching for a greater understanding.

Thank you. My life is very confusing but I do my best to try to make sense of it.

Just recently had a dream I was being burned alive. To be honest, it didn’t even hurt that much while in my dream state. I’ve had many different assassination attempts occur to me while asleep.

I guess I’m glad I’m not a popular figure and stick to being stealthy in society; people deep down, especially males, have some real tense issues with me in-person - at least in the “extra-dimensional” worlds.

I remember being tortured in past lives. I have memories of it.

I’ve had torture with schizophrenia, physical and mental but you could blame demons just as much as any government program. I haven’t had these symptoms for over a year or so though, they are uncomfortable and hit while in lying in bed for me, at the time I was next to a building with several tetra/mobile antenna. I have come to conspiratorial like conclusions before but it has tended to be a symptom of the illness which makes escalating psychosis worse. I’ve re-rationalised after my last bout of psychosis on what is a real issue to worry about, government conspiracies and gangstalking and so on have gone to the bottom of my priorities.