My voices puts me in mental situations, where I’m forced to choose between personal growth or death of a family member; or dying early; or even choose between who I love most. It is completely random and consists of doing strange compulsions, it is distressing and gives me a lot of head aches. So my plan is to completely ignore those voices and the situation they put my mind in. It is like an obligation to choose, but I have been choosing and battling this for years, it won’t hurt to try something new. Another idea is I’m going to say a safe word that nullifies the “effect”. The hard part is me actually believing it. But I have confidence this will work out.
for me, voices are an element that became part of us. But for me, voices came to my life was due to the rejections and denials that i had in my life. the voices were the manifestation of these feelings and emotions that were so strong that it “felt” real and became what it was to me at that time. To me, voices do not dictates me nor am i what it said. It’s just like what i said, it was manifested from the emotions and feelings of rejections that were so strong that it became “something”, something that we called voices.
my voices started off with saying “DIE!” with about 7 children’s shouting that. at about when i am 20 years old (i am 34 now) it was so disturbing till one point i thought of the possibility of dying as an option.
til when i was about 30-34 years old, it became “NO!”, “it’s wrong”, “wrong!”.
but till my recent understanding is that all these voices were meant to put me down. these are just manifestation of my very bad + accumulated experiences.
it has nothing to do with my character nor what i really am.
Good point. These voices are a part of one. I believe that my voices and if I could say most people voices are from the sub conscious. All our virtues and vices manifested into audio hallucinations. I think it is a good time to meditate or try to understand what our brain is trying to say. When I’m having a episode I try to understand my brains fear and it’s reasoning (if at all) behind it.
I don’t have voices, but I do get delusional ‘intuition’ that tells me much the same things you talk about experiencing. Choices between the lives of loved ones and my personal growth. Even on my best day this still dogs me.
I don’t know if this is good advice or not, but it helps me: I think about how I would like the things I’m after without the negative effects to the other person. That is, simply acknowledging that I don’t want anything bad to happen to person X somehow helps the situation.
Correct me if I’m wrong. You are saying, when faced with a choice that involves a loved one. You simply tell the hallucination that you are making a choice to not harm them? Simply clearing your mind to do make a choice.
we can be rational while being emotional as well. yes, you can feel that you are being forced to harm someone and it hurts you, but you can also while feeling hurted choose not to do it. while emotions are not totally by your choice but you can choose what to do into your actions. while both being true and real. emotions can be true yet not truth, means that, yes what you are feeling is what really you felt, but that doesn’t reflects the reality truth to the world we lived it. while feeling this emotions, i recommend you doing what is right and righteous. we have to always pay with our actions. i hope that from some day near in future, you would not regret in whatever decision you make. but it’s ok to fail to, failure is not lost but a lesson. it’s not the end of the world.