Since increasing my AD my emotions have mostly returned. I’ve felt pleasure from conversation, I’ve felt angry and excited.
Before this I felt my emotions were gone due to psychotic negative symptoms.
I hope that this is a sign of recovery and that things will improve further.
Although it makes relapse and deterioration an even worse prospect.
If I could win my family back I would be so happy, it’s very unlikely though as she no longer loves me.
I went on a support forum similar to this one and they helped me figure things out. I started with anger because it was easiest to recognise. I attended a CBT course and watched lots of videos, and I just practiced until I was comfortable tolerating anger.
After that, emotions started to reappear so long as I was able to recognise them and willing to tolerate them. The most important thing was that I had to stop avoiding negative feelings, which meant giving up most of my addictions, especially alcohol.
Both actually. With anger I learned the physical sensations that meant I was feeling angry: Tensing muscles, redness, gritted teeth, head pain, etc.
With the others I had lots of “aha” moments when I realised I was feeling something and labelled it as sadness, or jealousy, etc. And I noticed then my body sensations too. Over time I got better and better at it. Another good source of recovery was my memories of feeling intensely from my teenage years, and I did have several flashbacks that released feelings I had suppressed.
Really once you have the intention to value your emotions then they will come back naturally. All you have to do is not avoid them.