Emotionless, Numb, and Not 'There' Anymore

Alright… I’ve been gone for quite a while. I’ve been trying to bring myself together for a few months, but still nothing… What I find to work is, love. I feel grounded when I see Her. We’ve been returned to talking again… But anyway… (I just deleted maybe 300 words…I got off topic.) I can feel my eyes widen, I can feel my heart pumping, an I don’t feel so ‘numb’ and stiff, like I normally would. I can finally breathe without my chest being heavy.
ANYWAY… ugh. I just want to talk about her… But I wanted to focus on myself. I need to work on myself. Okay… I feel as if, my past has caused this crap… I really want to bring it up with my pdoc, but I don’t want to take anymore medication… Idk. I’ll probably just write about her in mu journal.

I’m really glad you have someone to bring you such happiness! That’s wonderful.


Please share this with your pdoc and post more - but only if you like to. :slight_smile:

Nevermind… She just admitted that she’s kissed a guy named Jared more than once… I really don’t know how to feel about this… :sob:

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Oh, I’m sorry. That’s good you know this now though.

No. I’ve known her for several years. We’ve dated before. Friday night, we spent 3 hours talking at the park…I told her how I felt… And just when I thought we were gonna get somewhere, bam… Another ■■■■■■■ let down . I’m done trusting anyone.

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Oh, Ok, :worried: please don’t give up on trust.