Emotionless, Numb, and Not 'There' Anymore

Alright… I’ve been gone for quite a while. I’ve been trying to bring myself together for a few months, but still nothing… What I find to work is, love. I feel grounded when I see Her. We’ve been returned to talking again… But anyway… (I just deleted maybe 300 words…I got off topic.) I can feel my eyes widen, I can feel my heart pumping, an I don’t feel so ‘numb’ and stiff, like I normally would. I can finally breathe without my chest being heavy.
ANYWAY… ugh. I just want to talk about her… But I wanted to focus on myself. I need to work on myself. Okay… I feel as if, my past has caused this crap… I really want to bring it up with my pdoc, but I don’t want to take anymore medication… Idk. I’ll probably just write about her in mu journal.

I’m really glad you have someone to bring you such happiness! That’s wonderful.

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Please share this with your pdoc and post more - but only if you like to. :slight_smile:

Nevermind… She just admitted that she’s kissed a guy named Jared more than once… I really don’t know how to feel about this… :sob:

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Oh, I’m sorry. That’s good you know this now though.

No. I’ve known her for several years. We’ve dated before. Friday night, we spent 3 hours talking at the park…I told her how I felt… And just when I thought we were gonna get somewhere, bam… Another ■■■■■■■ let down . I’m done trusting anyone.

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Oh, Ok, :worried: please don’t give up on trust.