i finally had my meltdown yesterday in therapy and im thinking that im not goin to be able to quit smoking till i relieve the stress that is being caused by my family and myself. i was 14 days quit, but stress just caused me to go back to it. it seems that i must relinquish control of things that are out of my hands and not worry about them so much but its really hard when things dont go the way i want them to, such as my sister in law not totally watching my kid when i come over or no one watching my kid when there are able bodies available to do it and they know they have to watch him they just think that someone else will do it i guess. causes me a good deal of grief, and i know that i have to work things out with my wife and how we dont share our emotions on a certain subject. it seems as if i do or do not do something it stresses me out and with out my stress relievers smoking and drinking i will end up just having another emotional meltdown. its hard though because i dont know how to communicate to my wife about my emotions because growing up my parents and i never communicated how we feel and i would really like to so that my son doesnt have the same problems that i do and so that we all understand each other and are on the same page. i would also like it because i would like everyone to be supportive of each other as well as mind full of each others emotions.
Hey you were fine the other day when we had that long debate. Maybe you just had a rough day. Let it pass. And I’m worried about you my friend, smoking and drinking are bad ways to cope with stress. Don’t go back now. Just let it all blow over like a passing storm.
In my therapy session yesterday we were talking about my women’s group. He said we might do a checking in part at the beginning. This is where you go around and say what you are feeling at that moment and why. This is a way to facilitate communication in the group and allows each person in the group a moment to center themselves. So maybe you could do this with your son. Let’s say at the dinner table. How are you feeling right now and why. Everyone take a turn sharing. You might be surprised with the discussions that arise.
thanks guys, one thing @SnowyOwl i think i had that debate because my emotions were built up i could see after my wife helped me out i was getting emotionally “weird” which happens when i let it build up too much. i bought two packs of cigarrettes and think that im only goin to smoke the one pack and try and quit again. i know its bad for me but its the way i used to cope with it because i didnt know the underlying problems and i didnt see the wholes in my emotional walls that i had built to protect myself or in other words keep myself “strong”. which it works somewhat but i need to take an actual hand at building myself to the way i like it so that i know my strengths and weaknesses and reassess my downfalls so that i know how to better handle my stress and my emotions. it will just take a bit of time, because i havent truely cleaned out my closet in a long time and most of the time i look at my problems am aware of them, dont know how to handle them and put them back where they were.
@Skims thanks. i was actually thinking about taking an idea from the show “New Girl” and making a speaking stick. so that everyone is respected of their time speaking and we can share our emotions without fear even how big or small they are. my sons only two and a half now. but i know if we can work out something to handle this our family will get along better instead of snapping at each other which i notice me and my wife do alot. which i dont like because i think her and her mother picked it up from me and i just dont like it all together.
thanks for the feedback guys.
hi johnjohn all is not lost you don’t quit quitting! tc
Can you try taking 15 minute walk twice a day? You can increase from there…It really has a calming effect on stress and relieves depression if done in the daylight (when possible). It is totally okay to wear head phones if you are being verbally harassed by strangers (gang stalked)…This only feels like work for 2 months, less if you were physically active previously. See how the smoking cessation goes from there…Maybe you can try this when you wake up from naps.