Embarrassing rant about a female

Lounge
1

A girl started working at my job… her and I hit it off pretty quickly… however she’s still in her early twenties…

So that should be enough for me to have shut the notion out of my mind. She’s not the only girl who I work with, nor the only one I’ve found interesting like this… but still it’s basically built into my life to deal with this over the coming months.

It’s hard to not like someone… when you do… and I can tell she likes me similarly. All sounds good right?

For some reason though… I’m totally unhappy about it. The ambiguity of it all… The patience of maintaining what I consider to be the ‘right approach.’ It’s kind of gut wrenching.

I’d rather wait until I actually know who she is and what she’s about before ‘falling into it’ if you will.

As I said she’s not the only girl in there and parallel to that I’m not the only guy. I just get that focus… the backdrop of life changes a bit. The influence of a the crush.

As much as I want to just go carry on talking with her… just reject the notion of doing my own work. I can’t really do that.

The parallel of getting to know this girl part of the time… and then having to watch her getting along with everyone else.

It just sucks… I know these dudes. A lot of them are surprisingly respectful. Far better than some of the social crowds I’ve been in previously. Still among them though there are a few guys who would take advantage of any opportunity to try and sleep with this girl.

It’s just so stupid to be a 30 year old in that environment. I’ve been through all this before and it’s like it just loops as a rerun… never changes.

I don’t just see these girls sleep with someone only to immediately regret it… I actually know these guys for years and I see the cheap fake ■■■■ they do to pull it.

I’m hoping that spelling all this out somewhere will get me past it.

She’s just a girl, she’ll either sell out to folding in like… or she won’t. It really isn’t my business. Long run all she’s doing is demonstrating who she is. Which if I were to remain interested I certainly gotta wait until having a sense of who that is.

My real problem is I’ve been struggling for like a week to get on top of this in my head. I made the mistake of letting her under my skin and I shouldn’t have… but it’s difficult to ward off especially when I’m talking to her and wind up making her laugh or any and all of that.

She always addresses me by name… Marks her goodbye’s with a good night or have a good night. The last moment I saw her that’s what she was saying. “Have a good night (insert my name).” Then tapped on my shoulder as she walked by.

Maybe that’s what it was… Just the fact she touched me that’s let this inflate to some unshakable iceberg in my mind.

I mean for like an hour before that she had been flirting with this other guy. And I get it… on one hand I’m just being to sensitive in the face of what is just casual socialization and life. On the other hand I am just uncomfortable entirely… I do not want to be thinking about this all the time.

Like really I’m fine either way. In the long run. I don’t need this girl… but I have spent enough time feeling the want for her.

Hah, I need to get a life… Since covid started I’m either at work or at home… Work is where my social life resides and I am so tired of it. I’ve been working at my current job for almost 4 years… Living in this apartment for a year and a half. Everything is so routine and the likelihood of that changing is pretty miniscule.

I mean I guess I just gotta roll with it. It’s be outright stupid to give up my job just to get my head out alive… I think I’d regret it.

I’m just so tired of dealing with highschool/college mentalities and environments. The majority of my coworkers ranged from the age of 19 to 25. Everything is always the same… everyone just wants to be cool… everything is always trivialized… especially romantic interests. Eggs are only served scrambled around here… and someone else is always sharing the plate. I am a guy saying this, but I know for the girls it isn’t much different. Dozens if not hundreds of broken hearts every season.

Just in light of the age difference between her and I was sold on just keeping myself in line and not making her uncomfortable. Like 30 year olds openly hitting on 20 year olds… not something I really approve of. In some contexts its fine, but for me it requires there be some greater context or familiarity having been established.

But she likes me… that’s obvious… and she broke that physical barrier herself… So I guess that’s an invitation of interest. Like if I do like her she doesn’t seem to have a problem with that.

All the same this just feels awkward and I’m overthinking it… and I want to take my mind off of it… but I don’t really want to let go of it entirely… but I’m damn tired of signing off the part of me that’ saying “just forget about it” each week… Cause who knows. Maybe by Sunday I wind up having some great conversation with her even wind up like having a date or something… Or maybe by sunday word travels down the grape-vine and I wind up hearing some really off-putting thing occurred…

The ambiguity of it…

On top of all that and as the primary reason I’m posting this here. Most of the folk I know are no help when it comes to advice… a great number of them just enjoy seeing people confused. So I’m pretty much alone in trying to just straddle all this until the tides settle wherever they do.

Part of me screams ah ■■■■ find some confidence and just go for it… but the other 80 percent is like nah this is dumb… her being perfect like that is just unrealistic to expect.

30 years old… and this ■■■■ is still like pulling teeth to deal with.

Alright well thanks for reading if you made it this far. I am now going to let the regret of posting this fuel a focus on myself and finding what I actually want out of my life… girls aside.

2 Likes
3

The more you fantasize about her, the less objectively you can assess the situation. Playing the long game ie waiting for others to hit on her while seeing how she responds is also a risky gamble. Maybe somebody else snatches her and they hit it off and become a thing. Not worth quitting your job at this point either. I’d say make a bold move. If you’re really 30 as I gather from your post, it’s an age that appeals to many young women. Mature but not old. Nothing twisted in a 7-8 years age gap.

3 Likes
4

I would be careful with the “that’s an invitation” mentality, you could be setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.

Some people are naturally touchy-feely even when they’re just being friendly. If you overthink things like shoulder touches, you might create situations for yourself where you enter a state of mind in which you think women are only friendly if they want a romantic or sexual involvement with you - and that’s not a good mindset to enter

5 Likes
5

The day I’m able to read such long posts, I’ll know that I’m healed😎

5 Likes
6

I can understand that we don’t get to choose who we are attracted to. It sounds like you’re genuinely interested in this girl. But the fact you work together, would make it a whole new level of awkward if things didn’t work out. Just something to consider

2 Likes
7

Hey good to see you around Azley. You still working on unity games?

1 Like
8

Yes, I’m attracted to the security guard at my hospital where I wrk. Lol.

That could be bad, if it went bad.

2 Likes
9

Oh as for the girl just remember if it goes bad you still have to work with her.

2 Likes
10

Idk about dating someone I work with. I used to work in a supermarket and my friend at work told me that this girl we work with told him to tell me that she is interested in me. I felt it was weird. A year later I met my gf in a nightclub when I was with my friends.

3 Likes
11

I hooked up with one girl from work at the work party on a yacht lmao. but then 2 days later i went to thailand for 2 months lol. Craaaazy times

3 Likes
12

Yea I miss presz times when I was normal.

1 Like
13

That was about 2 years after my first episode. I was in a decent remission state at that time and no negative symptoms.

2 Likes
14

I’m glad you picked that out… I was more focused on getting the whole schpeal out then worrying about all the wording.

When I meant inviting I didn’t mean it as in reference to some kind of “invitation.”

More meant it like. She might just be being friendly but thats far better than be ignored or avoided… Like that sort of inviting.

To everyone else thanks for the feedback. The general theme throughout the responses was that yeah I have to keep respect for the work environment in mind for sure.

Like I was saying I just had to put all that out there somewhere to sort of crystalize it and make it easier to navigate around.

@Andrey that’s spot on… basically how I feel about it. I can’t really let myself care at this point. If she winds up pairing off with one of the other guys in short order here I’d rather be miles away from that then have it baked in that I might have ever given a ■■■■

I’m just gonna try to maintain keeping perspective… Recognize the value of my own independence and seriously… It sucks cause it happens so often but if the chick isnt good for it the chick isnt good for it… Not worth trying to fit square pegs in round holes.

Thanks again all… Now I’ve got some sidestreets of other peoples opinions in here. Helps keep me from spinning out.

She’s just a girl… Perhaps the new girl… But she’s just another girl like all the others future, present, past. Can’t let it be a big deal.

Free world, free peoples, Love and Peace :green_heart::v:

@LevelJ1 ha whats up bro… I am surprised to recognize anyone on here at this point. I am still tooling around with game dev stuff here and there. Nothing formal in the works at this point. Hope all is well with ya.

4 Likes
15

I mean I can see a relationship that starts out of a work environment working out fine.

Really just depends on the compatibility and intentions of the people involved.

To be clear I’m not necessarily trying to start some long winded relationship with the girl.

It’s more like I fell into a pothole of confusion and overthinking things… And thats probably because I’ve been working with her for a few months now and I never bothered talking about it.

Gunk building up on the walls of the mind started suffocating my sense of clarity.

I’ll prolly take a vacation to visit some out-of-state family sometime this year. Get myself out of this stagnancy… Give myself something else to ponder.

1 Like
16

If you really want her, you should get her before someone else does. Someone else could start dating her tomorrow and all this would be moot. You are who you are but it’s usually the aggressive guys who gets the girl most of the time. If you do nothing then probably nothing will happen.

2 Likes
17

Oh I plan on being less inhibited, but I’m also not gonna premeditate any specific action.

And… Even if someone else does wind up with her. It sort of doesn’t bother me as I already know that just as a coworker I’ll be getting to know her… Like trying to phrase this appropriately… She might wind up with me anyways.

I just miss the days… So long ago… Back when I was in highschool/college. Girls would just wind up liking me… And it’d pretty much just stay that way regardless od the day to day noise.

Everything in adulthood is like jungle-gyming between closed doors and missed oppurtunities.

1 Like
18

That’s a great way of putting it. Great visual

1 Like
19

Why are you posting this here? This sort of topic is usually entertaining but I expect to see them on reddit and I stay out of them there and will do the same here. GL

1 Like
20

This place is my reddit… I put it under the lounge category.

2 Likes
21

Just ask her if she wants to get a drink sometime after work or dinner. You’ll know by her answer where you really stand.

3 Likes