EARWIGS! I hate them.
I never encountered them before moving to my current city and this particular house.
Every morning I wake up very early with Mr Turtle (who works the early morning shift) and spend a long time myself getting ready for work.
I’m a smoker and a coffee drinker. So I spend a lot of time outside in the early hours. I like it, it’s peaceful.
But lately … not so.
I have a little herb garden with parsley, shallots and strawberries by the backdoor and there is leaf litter in the bottom of the styrofoam box that houses the garden.
The little blighters have been waiting until Mr Turtle leaves for work then congregating in cut off shallots (or green onions or whatever you want to call them - see picture). Then … the audacity … they rustle the leaf litter to spook me!
Once, many years ago, I became their god. One night I went out for a cigarette and they had gathered in a circle on the back doorstep mat with a dead earwig in the centre that they were holding up (I’m actually not kidding, wasn’t hallucinating, this ACTUALLY happened).
What is going on?
Should I buy a flame thrower? Is that my only option? I’m starting to think that’s really my only option. I know I have to burn my herbs.
4 Likes
Brilliant post! Thst was funny ! Maybe they’re seasonal and will move on as the seasons change ? 
1 Like
God help me I hope they do! Sometimes, sometimes, they hide in the toilet roll!!!
I’m in the right place to get scared by them at least.
1 Like
Burn the place down. It’s your only option now.
Edit: obviously, don’t actually do that.
4 Likes
Earwigs are so gross.
Flamethrower is mos def not out of the question.
By the way,
I heard that you are a “Kim and Kath” fan via comment by @anon20613941,
So, tell me, on a scale of 1-10 how much you love this guy:
When will he give us the Mr. G spin off we’ve been craving?!
1 Like
HE’s a legend! Have you ever watched his show on the Australian of the Year? I forget what it’s called but Jai’me is in it.
1 Like
That’s right! It’s piss funny!
1 Like
My favorite is where Jai’me makes the “Australian Idol” game from all her African kids.
Too much!
Chris Lilley is so funny.
I can’t get freaking anyone in the States on board.
Seriously, I’ve stopped being friends with people over them hating “Summer Heights High”.
1 Like
LOL! Worthy cause to lose friends!
“I call this one Usher, cause he looks like Usher!”
1 Like
I come across the occasional earwig in my house. Unfortunately my little dog loves earwigs. I’ll find her rolling around happily on her back on the carpet in joyful abandonment. Usually this means there is an earwig that she has claimed as her own. Apparently rolling on something is how my dog says “This is MINE!”. When I pick her up off the carpet, the earwig will make a break for it and scurry away. I then have to catch it and put it outside before my dog rolls on it again. 
2 Likes