I’m feeling very vulnerable right now. I’m right at 5 months clean and thinking hard about using. Like in the past, I’ve gotten in my mind that I am going to use and the logistics of that are being calculated by me somewhere under the surface and it’s just a matter of the opportunity presenting itself.
I’ve stood in this spot many times with no awareness that I was here. Now I see it. I’m hoping to stop myself. It seems so hard and complicated, but really all I have to do is just not use. Why is that so hard and complicated? Don’t use. Do not use!
My drug rehab therapist thinks I’m in danger of a relapse because I have so much stress coming from all angles. And he thinks I don’t reach out to others for support enough. To top it off last time I was clean it was 5 months when I relapsed.