Drowning in doubt

I avoided people for so long that getting this job that requires so much contact with people seems a little scary and like I said earlier I think I might be taking on too much but I guess this is the only way I’ll come out of my shell

Just take it easy - take it slow. Take your time and just do your best. =)

I’m good at quick friendly interactions but I don’t thrive in environment where I am around groups of peopleregularly. Maybe this will be a good way to start building community skills but like I said I am afraid

Karen have you ever had an issue with feeling like people are judging you for your performance and you think to yourself and possibly the meds are to blame?

I was a little slow at the orientation because I hadn’t been given this much information since high school

all the time. I guess we tend to over analyze everything too. They don’t know what is mental illness so just be yourself and take nothing personally. If you don’t know you personally - don’t take it personal. Everybody judges everybody, it does not change anything.

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Just focus on your job and take breaks. And you can socialize gradually too =)

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I’m the shyest most withdrawn guy you will ever meet. I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 1980 when I was 19. Yet, I’ve been working almost steadily since I was 22 or 23. I’ve had about 16 or 17 jobs since i was 23. Life is just weird that way. I’ve been fired from about half of them. Yet, I’ve stayed at a couple of them for four years, I stayed at another for three years and I’ve been at my janitors job for 5 years now. Life is just weird this way.

Being employed is not always a steady, upward progression. I’ve done bad at some jobs and I got fired after a month. My next job I lasted 8 months. My next job i lasted 3 months and then my next job I stayed for three years. I guess I’m trying to say that your past or present setbacks are not always predictors of how you will do on future jobs. If I had a dime for every job I started off at that I predicted correctly how I would do there when I started, I would not have a dime.

Some jobs I went in thinking I would be a great worker and I actually became the worst worker there. Other jobs I went in doubting how I would do and I became one of the best employees. Like I said, I’m pretty shy but I’ve worked in several department stores where I was on a truck unloading crew working shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of teenagers and twenty year old’s or a shelf stocking crew and I also had to be out on the sales floor among lots of people. I did fairly well. Life is a crap shoot, and sometimes its one step forward and two steps back. Sometimes we are Sisyphus pushing that rock up the hill, only to get to the top and have the rock fall down and then we have to push it back up. But unlike Sisyphus we do not have to be that way for eternity.

I’ve failed a million times in my life. But I rest or take a break and lick my wounds and jump back in the saddle again (cue Aerosmith and Steven Tyler screaming). Hey, we’re all lucky we aren’t all stuck in the hospital for years. If we even attempt to have a job or if we even make it through a job interview and get hired that’s just a bonus in life that is equal to some businessman in a Fortune 500 company clearing a $100,000 a year. I don’t know how you are going to do or what you’re going to do but there’s no shame in quitting or being unsuccessful. You may stick with it and do fairly well, I don’t know. But you gambled and put out the effort and that’s what counts. Good luck to you.