Dreams...and...Reality

I am dreaming about the perfect gf. She should be like my mom and take care of me just like her.
She should know I don’t have any income, can’t work, and live with my parents now.

For me, my mom is the most important woomen on earth because she takes care of me and I know no woomen can do like her. :heart:

And no I am not delusional. My psychiatrist said I am stable with only negative and cognitive symptoms like avolition, anhedonia, apathy, self-neglect and asociality.

After she dies, my young brothers will take care of me. :heart:

My ideal guy is Chinese American though the guy I actually like is Japanese American. He’d live in Honolulu, work a day job, take me out for Curryhouse chicken curry with soda Friday night after work. I wouldn’t work, we’d just live off his salary and my parent’s salary and my ssi disability check. In my free time I’d go out to support groups and cafes and art museums with friends. He’d be someone I can brag about, like someone my friends think is cool. We’d do fun stuff together like walk my dogs, shop for groceries, watch sci-fi movies and minions, hike somewhere that is really easy for me, and think up ways to get involved with activities that can help others like by making friends with the Buddhist group. It’d be cool if he could come to the mental illness dinner with me. There’s lots of homeless and he might not want to because he’s rich. Even though I don’t have as many romantic ideas as in the past, I wish he’d see things through my perspective. We’d also go to my high school carnival where I got a full ride and made lots of friends, go visit my family in China and go visit a lake, go on occasional trips like to Japan, and have two kids! I’d also like to read books in bed, make dessert for the kids, have parties, and take the kids to different lessons of their choosing like art or swimming or Church camp. :slight_smile: and I’d make sure my friends hung out often. Anyways I want to do lots of cute stuff together and live in Honolulu. I’m turning 30 next year and I’m feeling more and more like a mom and less like someone just looking for love. I still believe my ex will come back one day. I hate people who underestimate my interest in the arts because I actually have a very deep understanding and can retain a lot of information from what I read. It’s cool when a guy can show me something I actually want to know and I find that romantic. I’ve dated rich kids and I’m not interested in their lives unless they involve dealing with poor people. I find poor people activities like sitting in the park, playing on the playground at night, eating ramen, to be romantic. Also Chinese stuff like weddings decked in red, dim sum, and the extended family. :slight_smile: Maybe someone smart and interesting or maybe just someone with a sense of humor and listens to his parents. Yes, big plus if the guy is willing to do Chinese things other guys are not willing to do!!!

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I was born in Tianjin which is a major city and shipping port in China. I didn’t move to the US till I was 5. Even though I mostly identify as Asian American these days, there are things I still like about Chinese culture. I also like dad’s family who were southern farmers who liked Sprite and miniature desk decor like little cats and dogs and cotton growing, etc. But mostly I was raised in Tianjin where I didn’t make many friends but always seemed to get my way with things. So I like doing Tianjin things like I have a taste for things Chinese big city dwellers are attracted to like technology, take out, big friendship and family ties, being relatively clean and well dressed, lakes, being a citizen of The Capitol, etc. In fact, my grandparents are famous in their field for their research in agricultural meteorology. We lived in a small apartment right beside the lake and tv tower at the city center and I used to go ice skating every winter. I was very good at literature, especially non romantic lit, even as baby and I used to memorize poetry and visit gardens. The point being I’m attracted to Chinese city stuff.

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