I very often doubt whether I’m even sick at all. Sometimes I want to stop the medication—on certain days, I purposely skip my pills… I don’t know. Am I lacking insight, or something else? It’s just so hard to make sense of what’s happening to me—whether this is really an illness, or just the imitation of one (maybe I’m the biggest pretender in the world), or maybe… maybe I actually recovered a long time ago? I have a few possibilities in my head, and the truth is… I often doubt whether I’m truly ill.
3 Likes
If you been diagnosed then you have sz. Idk 
just another sz talking to you
1 Like
It’s very common in such to behave like that, not understanding that you are sick. I consider talking to your doctor and take your medication as prescribed otherwise things get worse.
1 Like
I sometimes feel the same but drink my meds like clockwork. Psychosis can turn very bad on us. I’ve been dx with paranoid schizophrenia and my doctor said my prognosis is poor. I always think back on how bad my symptoms have been when I want to challenge my dx.
1 Like
Don’t you go through this regularly and even stopped your medication once or twice and you started to relapse? How much proof do you need? No one keep up a pretense for 4 or 5 years or however long you’ve been sick. You’ve probably suffered and I doubt you have enough talent to fake suffering, what you’ve gone through is real.
2 Likes
I have so many psychological issues regarding my family. I worked through them with talking to someone weekly. Once my psychological issues cleared up my symptoms of SZ cleared up more than ever.
1 Like
I skip meds because I forget I am ill it’s such a powerful meds.
1 Like
I get the same exact thoughts and feelings! I don’t skip meds though I fine myself crying about it to my husband a lot but he always figures out how to get me to take my meds
2 Likes
Yes, I’m definitely experiencing this not for the first time—sometimes even several times a day. I feel foolish.
Maybe the fact that even close ones don’t always understand that I am or have been ill hurts even more. Sometimes my parents think that I only took a break from studies just to pretend to be “unwell.”
There are moments when it’s really hard to understand everything, and when you think about it—this illness itself includes a “lack of insight” as a symptom.
It just seems like I’m functioning really well, and people don’t notice anything from the outside at all—and I start doubting whether the medication is even necessary. @77nick77
1 Like
I suggest you take a depot injection, I take depot not get reminded every day I got these “schizophrenia” taking the daily pills. This gives me more freedom too.
1 Like
The delusion that I was living in was several times more convenient than my actual reality, so my rejection of my sz diagnosis was deeply rooted into my thoughts, no one could tell me otherwise for 6 years.. Once i discovered the diagnosis was true though Ive yet to consider the possibility of not having sz. If u are lucky enough to ever be able to obtain even a small amount of insight on your delusional thought pattern u should believe in the diagnosis. Like i said my delusion was very advantageous compared to my actual reality that having sz put me in, so in a way it was almost in my best interest to believe the delusion.. but u have to bear the realness of the illness.. even if it makes ur life suck, because thats better than living in a fantasy that may stop u from growing. If someone showed me this website 5 yrs ago and believed my diagnosis i would be in a much better place in life
1 Like
also if you are hearing voices definitely know that u have it. I skip my anti psychotic pills alot to be honest.. I borderline dont take any at all. But if ur doing what i do u have to have 100% confidence in your insight and accept the diagnosis completely. The severity of your sz may not warrant as much medication who knows. We Cant stop ur decisions or your way of thinking either way , we can only give you advice its up too you on whether u want to intergrate any of it into your future life choices..
1 Like
I remember one reason I used to skip medication was because the medication makes me ill. But if the psychosis hits us after a while like it usually does it makes things so much worse.
I’m on a pretty low dose of meds now though, and I’m ok.
But you don’t want to quit suddenly. Tapering slowly is always the sensible choice. That way if you start feeling mentally ill you can increase the dose again before totally losing insight and entering a full blown psychosis.
Also listen to your doctor. If they don’t think you are ready to taper off meds chances are you aren’t. But it’s worth discussing with them. Maybe raise the question once a year if things seem to go well and see what they say.
1 Like