But then what is it that’s talking to me all of the time? Aliens? A covert organisation? The thoughts of the people around me?
Or maybe I have two personas. But that is assuming I am good and they are bad. Maybe I am the bad one and they are good. I don’t even know who I am or which thoughts are mine most of the time.
Or what about the random man who talks inside my brain sometimes before I go to sleep? He doesn’t even talk to me- he just talks about random stuff and people I don’t know about.
This might not be an illness though. I am completely neurotypical but all of the darkness inside me- I am the creator!
Told the psychosis team that this foreign presence in me has really bad intentions and they weren’t concerned lmao. Nobody thinks I have the guts to do anything.
I’m just a whining little girl. I’m so annoying, I’m surprised the voices haven’t f***** off out of my brain! How can they put up with me?!
As long as you hear voices, you can’t consider yourself on the safe side. Even if currently the voices aren’t persuasive enough, you are still paying attention to them. In time you will believe them more and more.
Best to get rid of them asap, with medication.
I’m sorry you’re going through all of this. Sometimes I wonder how they let someone as crazy as me just walk amongst all the “normal” people. It just doesn’t seem safe. But then I realize - I haven’t hurt anyone yet, except myself. If the psychosis team didn’t see you as a threat right now then that’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong with you, it just means right now your safe to be out with other people. I’m just assuming this, we don’t have psychosis teams here that I know of.
But listen, I always go through the thinking that the diagnosis is wrong even though I have all the evidence I need right before my eyes. Hang in there. I hope you feel better soon.
Denial is common in schizophrenia. I lived in a house for schizophrenics for 4 months thinking nothing was wrong with me and thinking it was everybody else who had the problem, not me.
The people who assess people with psychosis are not going to flip out when you tell them about your psychosis. They would be very unprofessional if they did. That doesn’t mean you aren’t sick. It’s just they have seen it before, it’s literally what they do all day.
The perspective of ours differs from others when we are sick. We come to know that only when we come to terms with reality. Else we wont be complaining about anything alone.