I understand you jealousy your frustration and your resentments. I saw it everyday the resentment when you got up to go to work, the malice when i bought things for the kids and I. The hate when you came home and i was sleep or to tired from the meds to stay up and talk to you. You hated me and I carried that guilt for years suffering in silence just the four walls to talk to. I ask god why me why couldnt i be normal and like everyone else. Then i realized i dont want to be like everyone else because everyone is so hateful. Im not perfect never have been. Its sad that a drug addict on the street or a poor man on the cornor begginh for money can treat you better than the ones you love. Does it make it right for you to mistreat me. I didnt ask for the hand that i was dealt nor did anyone else in this world. I know you dont like me, i say the wrong things, i rub people wrong, and i piss a whole lot of people off, i make people un comfortable and i probably conatantly leave you in embarrassment . I understand why you want me gone or why i was never enough. But does it make you right. Yes im disabled ive had a hard life. Everyone is in your ear telling you every negative thing about me. You dont think i know this. You gladly remind me every time we talk. But does it make it right for what you do and others do. I am still human. And that boy who shot up that school in florida he didnt have an mental illness he simply had hate in his heart.
Thanks for writing this. I feel this way pretty often, not exactly in the details but the framework is there.
I really care for the older generation. So when i see anyone doing anything to them it gets to me. They gave us so much and we give them so little. Not right.
Who are you talking to?
Its a general comment im refernce to what we were discussing. Because alot of times in the hospital for long stays you see elderly people and for the most part they are to old and feeble to take up for themselves. I generally care for the older generation because they made everything possible thus far so have mad respect for them and i get really offended in any setting seeing them mistreated. Sorry for the confusion.
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