Don't think my brother wants anything to do with me

For the past few weeks, my younger brother, (He’s two years younger then me,) has barely spent any time at home. When he does come home it’s only to eat, and he doesn’t eat with the rest of us, and we’ve always, eaten together as a family. He’ll come home either after we’ve had supper, and then he’ll eat what’s left, or he’ll come before we make it, and he’ll make something else then leave again. I was talking to him about it because, he wasn’t even home for our Dad’s birthday, and was home for maybe 10 minutes the day after. But I was talking to him and he told me to “Shut up, and get out of his life.” And I know I’m a freak, but I don’t want him to leave me.

That sounds like completely normal teenage behaviour.

6 Likes

I dunno, bear with me as I try to explain. I just feel like now that we’ve moved out of town and he has more free rein, that he’s taking the chance to get away from me. I mean who would want me as a sister? Even still I don’t want him to go, I don’t want to be abandoned.

I can pretty much guarantee it has almost nothing to do with you. No one wants to be stuck with their family all the time.

5 Likes

Like, I’m not even a teenager anymore and I still don’t really want to be around my family like that.

1 Like

This sounds like classic teenager behavior. If he isolates too badly, it might be time to get concerned for his mental health, since mental illness runs in your family. But right now, it just sounds like he’s going through the “my family is so lame and nobody understands me except my friends” phase of development, which is normal for someone when they’re experimenting with having more independence.

8 Likes

You guys really think so? It’s just him being him. It’s not me?

2 Likes

It’s him. I was like that too when i was a teenager lol. I’ve 90% grown out of it lol. I like my distance except woth my wife and kids. My mom and stepdad I like having distance as they can be pushy and what not. But yeah it’s normal for teenage years. If it continues into adulthood then there is a big problem that runs deeper like drugs and little dumb friend gangs like my cousins into :unamused::unamused:

2 Likes

Okay thank you 151515

1 Like

I have 9 sisters, they need time an they need bro time. hanging out is hard to do for teen, you may want to take up something he like to do in order to get to know him more.

2 Likes

It’s normal for teenagers. They’re learning how to be independent and do things for themselves, and part of that is pushing away former sources of comfort to see if they can handle their stresses on their own now. It’s just a phase of development, just like how when babies are ready to feed themselves, they start grabbing the spoon away from their parents.

I will say, just because it’s normal teenage behavior doesn’t mean you don’t have the right to be upset by it. It is hurtful and sad to watch someone you love push you away for no reason. I would suggest telling him how you feel, but he might not be very receptive to it at this point. Maybe you can ask your parents or a counselor for advice on how to deal with your brother’s sudden change in behavior. They might be able to speak with him about how it’s important to show respect for everyone even when your hormones are making you feel angry and upset all the time.

1 Like

When I was in high school I was out every night playing football with my friends or getting into mischief or just hanging out on the street fooling around and talking. It wasn’t that I didn’t like my two sisters and my parents and it wasn’t deliberate, I was just a young kid with tons of energy and I liked hanging out with my friends outside. I had no idea at the time what my two sisters were doing with their lives (they were two and three years older than me respectively). I was wrapped up in my own world. I liked my sisters and we still hung out sometimes but most of the time I was doing things that they wouldn’t (or couldn’t) want to do with my friends. I agree with everybody who says his behavior is normal and typical for a kid.

I should add that me and my sisters had our own friends and separate lives growing up (and we fought a lot too) but once we all got out on our own after high school and moved out of our parents home we started hanging out more and doing things together and that continues to this day. I turn down invitations but at age 57 I still see my sisters and we get along great.

4 Likes

Honestly I was terrible to my sister growing up. I lived with her for a while and I was a shite brother. I just was into my own thing and treated her poorly.

I regret that totally now! Thing is I appreciate that and I do what I can and it’s all good.

All’s you can do is be supportive of your brother. It’s not you as everyone says. It’s just normal human behavior!

2 Likes

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.