Don't give up

My son rents a room in a house and has 5-6 roommates who are all, like he is, young and just starting out in life/trying to figure out what they want to do. When my son first moved there, almost a year ago, he told me about one of the renters who lived in a trailer in the backyard. My son got to know him and always said he was a nice guy: gay, like my son, and originally from another state, like my son and a few of the fellow renters.
So yesterday my son called me and was very upset. They had found the body of this roommate in his trailer. They hadn’t seen him for a few days and called the police. This nice young man, just starting out in life, had shot himself. My son is devastated, as are all the young men in the house. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.
This is the first time I’ve ever realized what a terrible mistake suicide is. Having someone so close to my son, in such a similar situation, just stop and give up…
I’ve had suicidal ideation for over 30 years. Hearing my son cry for his friend, knowing that this young man did not have to end his life, has shaken me to clarity.
Don’t ever give up!

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I am so sorry this happened @Hedgehog suicide is a mistake…Jerry Cantrell recently remarded about Chris Cornell’s suicide…“It is never going to make sense, it is never going to feel right and it will always hurt” I hope your son and the others can make peace with it. sad to hear.

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Thank you, @jukebox. I think especially for the young. They just don’t know that things can/will get better if they hang in there. Guaranteed. Things always get better.

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Oh I’m sorry to hear of this @Hedgehog.
Suicide is devastating all the way around.
Hope that your son finds some peace!

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My cousin killed herself when I was a sophomore in high school. It isn’t easy at any age to deal with, but it is especially hard when you’re young. I hope you both find healing. @Hedgehog

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That’s really sad @Hedgehog. I hope your son and his other roommates are doing OK.

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Very sobering post, @Hedgehog. I’ve known 6 people personally who killed themselves. After they were gone I used to put myself in their shoes and picture and feel how incomprehensibly hopeless and sad they felt about themselves right before they pulled that trigger or jumped from that four story building. I too, think of suicide, it is usually in the back of my mind most days. Sometimes the feeling just flickers through my mind like a small candle, faint, and then quickly out. Other times, it is a stronger feeling that I force myself not to dwell on. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to focus all on myself.

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@Hedgehog

I just want to say my heart goes out to you and your son, and his friends. :heart:

I lost my best friend to suicide so I know devastating it can be.

Take care, and Blessings unto you all.

  • Christopher
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It does sober one up very fast to realize how devastating suicide is, how bad those who have to feel to do it, and the empty hole it leaves for those who are left.

In the past I’ve had several almost successful attempts myself, and I do understand what it takes to come to the decision, but the suicide (Shot himself) of my 25 year old nephew last Oct, I do understand his pain, but the hole it left in my soul will not heal. I miss him every day.
We are losing way to many young folks to suicide.

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I appreciate your sharing. I know exactly how it feels to be that hopeless, to not care about anything on this planet anymore and just desperately want to leave. But I never gave up. Neither did you.
I’m not criticizing those who do. I’m not into that. It’s that my heart breaks for this young man who didn’t have the strength, the support, or whatever it takes to wait it out and go on.
That’s what really breaks my heart in this situation. He didn’t know that a stranger (me) would cry for him and care that he felt alone. His roommates, including my son, are devastated.
I wish he had known that he did matter and people do care and things would have gotten better…

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@metime, @Chrishasheart and @Csummers, I’m so sorry you’ve all lost people in this way. I have been convinced, at my worst suicidal times, that no one would really care if I was gone. I was wrong.
:heart:

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