This post can be read on so many levels, so many different comprehensions, so many different meanings. But just as I’m searching for answers, as a SZ person, so is everyone else with SZ. I feel we are constantly searching for answers…so we try many different viewpoints. We need to be weary of others searching for answers too. I’m speaking for myself more than anything, but I think anyone can benefit from this. We SZ are troubled individuals and are constantly searching in different ways to help us, some beneficial some not so much. But I remember darkksith used to say “You are doing great”…And I think I am doing great. 1 step backwards, 2 steps forward. That’s all you can do.
Idk I guess I just feel sometimes I get out of my own head and I need to apologize, so by making this post regarding the feelings I’m feeling, I’m apologizing.
Thanks. That’s all. Hope this all makes sense.
They tell me “Don’t give up on your dreams TTP”…I don’t think I have any dreams, I’m just scared of dying all alone…
i hope i can have kids at some point and that they don’t get sz (unthinkable) but yeah when i die i want an epic funeral with loads of cool people there, i know its not a great thing to think about but i have thought about it and i want it to be epic, i’d hate it if only a few people turned up and nobody said anything that would be the worst,
sorry if this is upsetting
It’s ok. I’m sure we’d be at each others funerals if we could.
I just got reminded of this John Lennon lyric for some reason
“People say I’m crazy
Doing what I’m doing
Well, they give me all kinds of warnings
To save me from ruin
When I say that I’m okay, well they look at me kinda strange
"Surely, you’re not happy now, you no longer play the game”"
While I’m being all emo, I just wanted to say I love you @sarad
I feel like me and you, no one tells us they love us enough, so I’m saying it to you.
And to everybody else on this board…I love you too.
Ahhh it’s okay TTP
Now I’m Back to livin tha thug life
Mercy is for the weak when I speak I scream
Afraid to sleep in havin’ crazy dreams
Vivid pictures of my enemies and family times
God to forgive me cause it’s wrong but I plan to die
Either take me in heaven and understand I was a G’
Did the best I could, raised in insanity
Or send me to hell cause I ain’t beggin’ for my life
Ain’t nothing worse than this cursed ass hopeless life
this is honest, honey, in January of this year, my head pain levels out of control, some
supposed fight against the machine, not on my meds, the drinking out of control, the cigs, I called my daughter,
and I barely got out, “Help me, Beth.”
she came the next weekend, and we went to ER, but they didn’t admit me since I wasn’t suicidal.
Don’t think for one second that we know how to help ourselves, cuz so many times we don’t.
I grew up acknowledging that love is something you must deserve and/or give something in back.
Neither of it is true, at least if we talk about true love. But let me tell you, unlearning is not easy at all.
I also got emotional today and thought about making thread to say that I love everyone and imagined pixel running to me through the lawn of sunflowers…but I stopped myself just in time.
This is from Whitesnake’s - Here I Go Again
Though I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I’m looking for
Oh Lord, I pray
You give me strength to carry on
’Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
yeah well you deserve it!
Thanks @sarad…you just saved me my from my next emo thread
just in the nick of time
This is one of my favourite songs.
Thank you xx
Walking dead generation
Ain’t nobody asking for your patience
The grand opening holding me to face the fact
I knew myself and didn’t have to ask nobody else
(Aesop Rock - Labor)
Then I’ll hang my boots to rest when I’m impressed
So I triple knot 'em and forgot 'em
This origami dream is beautiful
But man, those wings will never leave the ground
Without a feather and a lottery ticket, now settle down
All I ever wanted was to pick apart the day
Put the pieces back together my way
(Aesop Rock - Daylight)
really? Aesop? I much prefer over Grimm’s.