Doing bad again, cant handle the stress

@Moonbeam I could and I should. I think Ill do that on monday, Im going in anyway. Thanks!

@Marbles damn man thats awful. I usually dont ahve a problem smoking weed when Im around other people, but when alone I get really in my head and paranoid. I think Ill lay off the stuff from now on

I also dont really like drinking that much so I just do it at social events. Maybe a beer once in awhile would be good to calm the nerves at least. No worries, and thanks man I need all the luck lol!


Day 2:

I am procrastinating again. I really gotta work harder I need to get things organized and plan my evaluation. Idk Im still feeling really overwhelmed it sucks

Its frustrating to deal with when my internet connection is so awful as well. Takes 10x longer to do anything remote


Are you proposing solutions or identifying potential problems for sodium fast reactors?

1 Like

As for organizing files, color coding helps me. Everything to do with this scenario is blue, everything with this one is red, etc. Alternatively, start every file name with a letter that will keep it alphabetized with like files. “B filename1” “B filename 2” etc. Subfolders can also help, but can also get confusing if you forget where each file is located.

But like @Moonbeam said, what will probably help most is being able to go into your lab each day and interact with other humans face to face.

I know some grad programs are very competitive, and others are very cooperative. Which style is yours? When my friend was getting his doctorate in…something to do with chemistry, he felt very isolated because his peers were very backstabby and he was used to a friendly cooperative environment.

I will say once again. I think you can do it. I think you’ll have that Master’s if you want it. But you don’t have to. Starting salary for someone with a nuclear engineering degree who wants to work at a power plant is like 100-130k. You can already have a very successful career with the degree you have.


Thanks @ninjastar, the mitigation strategy has already been devised, I just have to evaluate whether it works, how successful it is and in what way

Thats good advice on the organization, in Unix its organized alphabetically by default so that should be very helpful!

I want to go into the lab every day so Im gonna ask my psychologist on wednesday for a note. Hopefully that will work. My grad program was very collaboratory and so is this internship, I just feel like Im dragging everyone else down. Hopefully going in will solve that!


You are a very good person to know, and a very helpful and supportive person. I’m sure that vibe comes across to your teammates. You have more to offer than you think you do. Even if you aren’t the most effecient worker or the one that comes up with the most solutions, you still make the team function better. Pretty much anyone can learn on the job stuff over time. One thing that is VERY hard to teach is the ability to work as a team, the ability to treat others with respect as a default, and the ability to care about what you do.


Thanks @ninjastar ! :slight_smile:

I feel like my ability to work as a team has suffered because of the pandemic but Im getting there with the help of meds and therapy haha

I do treat everyone with respect tho, at least I think I do. Either way I want that degree so I guess its time to go get it lol. Really appreciate the kind words :smiley:

1 Like

Your recent song collabs have me doubting this self-assessment. You work amazing as part of a team.


Thanks ninja, I am quite excited about the most recent one with @Jonnybegood I think we both did brilliant! He did most of the mixing on his part and I just touched it up in mastering.

Im hoping I can get that stuff to transfer over to work lol I guess I kinda clam up and sometimes and a setback has me feeling low


I can contest. @zwolfgang a team player


I mean, my dude, lets be real. You moved to a new country where you dont speak the language in the middle of a pandemic and a housing mixup made you homeless for a while. And you still managed to keep your internship. You should be a lot more impressed with yourself. The rest of us are.


Definitely give up the weed. It’s not good at all for someone with SZ (or anyone really).

DO something that forces you to maintain some discipline in your daily life. Get up early. have a routine. Do some exercise. Study something beneficial. Cook healthy food. Help someone else in need.


Ayy thanks @Jonnybegood !

@ninjastar haha yeah I guess that kinda puts it into perspective for me. I dont know how I did it tbh, but I know I can do it again if I have to. I was ready to quit two months ago and hospitalized. Only 5 days but still it was brutal. Im just glad I made some friends in there when smoking cigs lol and now Im properly medicated

@VanDam I agree on the weed for me but I must say it did help me be more confident at one point believe it or not. Helped me chill out too. But that was when I was just doing it with friends or at a party or something.

I agree on the discipline tho. I get up early and have some semblance of a routine and exercise but I could do better. Maybe then the rest will fall into place. Thanks!

1 Like

Cannabis is actually very beneficial to a variety of physical and mental illnesses too.

I’ve been telling zwolf he shouldn’t smoke so much. Hard in Europe when you don’t have access to legal shops which can help a user cut down mightily. (You only have to buy a joint not an 1/8th.

It’s plain ignorant to say it helps no one

I don’t think I’m Sz but I smoke weed once per week now and my life is pretty fantastic

Tell cancer, aids, ptsd, ibms, glaucoma and a ton of other kinds of patients it’s not good for anyone. Huh?? Oh well I don’t wanna argue more I know the truth

1 Like

Go offline mate :wink:

1 Like

@Jonnybegood I think it works best with friends and when you dont have it for me at least. That way Im not in control and dont smoke as soon as I have free time everyday lol

@Marbles lol yeah Im thinking less screen time might be good. I get enough of that at work, Maybe I should go hiking :person_climbing:

1 Like

Ok, so it’s good for some physical illnesses because it numbs pain a little bit? It does nothing to cure these illnesses. I’m sure a few shots of whisky would do that too. What mental illnesses is it good for? Please tell me… because as far as I know it makes them all much worse.

Seriously if you exercise regularly you will release good healing chemicals in your brain. You will feel much better. You gotta get sweaty though (at least 30-45 minutes good exercise).

Also finding something interesting to stimulate your brain and your creative centers will make you feel happier.

1 Like

Yeah I know about that, used to be a gym junkie lol

Its hard to get back into it now that Ive been out of shape for so long, gotta get the ball rolling again

I do music as well which is nice when things are going well with it lol

Oh the other thing is asking for spiritual help. If you need help ask the universe for it. I’m not trying to talk religion here because it’s banned. But there is help out there. I know from experience. But you have to put in some effort from your side to receive the help as well. You have to try to do your best and avoid all the bad stuff.