In the evening my med messes quite up with my brain. Its not nice tbh… I feel even scared, tired in my body but excited in my brain cause I think negatively. Its not surprising. The aps suppress our dopamine, so its not only the illness. I wonder if ill get used to this negative effect of the med on me.
Did you resign with something like this? Those are strange meds I want to say… but whatever. Maybe if I feel better the whole day, ill resign myself to have some couple of bad hours in the night. But for the moments, its not nice…
I’m sorry for what you are going through.
It is an interesting question. And to be honest I don’t know. I don’t know what parts are my sz, what parts are my ap, what parts are my chronic depression, and what parts are because I generally feel pretty sad.
Does it feel sort of manic for you? Like you had too much caffeine sort of?
No, its a bit the opposite. It even puts me negative thoughts in my head. The dopamine is the hormone of pleasure and the aps are known for lowering it. They help me on some, but I should have some normal areas on which the med acts too and it makes those areas worse I find… It tires my body, but I have my negative thinking in my head. It gives me a bit some sensation of mental fragility too. too hard to describe this more concretely. I guess lots of people have some strange states on the aps. But those meds are definitely strange… Give them to a normal person and hell become a zombie, no?..
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Yes he will become a zombie, I think. Does it feel like all your defenses have been worn dow? I get like that sometimes. I tell people I’m feeling frazzled or overloaded. It doesn’t come with voices/hallucinations. But it often comes with this absolute horrible thought that everything I do is wrong and stupid. I feel absolutely destitute and sort of empty inside.
Its per waves you know… Today, firstly, I felt insensible which was hard. After that, came the fragility… Its some kind of mystical fear from everything… People, the darkness of the universe, just some fear with a mystical element… Yes, I feel fragile in those moments. Also like some feeling of being cloudy…
The problem is that I guess all of us here have some healthy sides in us. Not everything is sz and the meds act on all of the brain no? So I should resign to those moments… But if this doesn’t fade away, ill remain forever alone I think. I just feel ill when I have my bad side effects… Theres still a slight possibility that this is my illness, but I think now that the meds are involved too though…
You should lack confidence in yourself too… Yeap, its normal for mi people… But try to give yourself a courage, that’s what I do. I was afraid even to talk before, now I learn this too 
.
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Well, I’m glad you started talking Gives me someone to listen to on this forum.
oh, don’t get me wrong… I still refuse to talk often or I am just disconnected to all the others and the information around me… Too much time in isolation for me, this sux…
No one else who has some bad state from his med? Its night again here and i was kcnoked out again. I find this really tough…
What kind of bad do you feel sometimes on your med? I am afraid this will remain and wont disappear with time 
. I exagerate a bit i guess, but i am nearly catatonic when the med kicks in. Plus the emotional pain… but the zyprexa is the only med who helps me in the day…
My illness can put me in “strange states”. My AP’s put me in normal states.
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i agree. I get like ADHD on crack if I’m off my meds. my dopamine is naturally sky high so i gotta be on some meds. my risperdal consta is strong and i didnt like how sedating and bland it made me feel so my pdoc added wellbutrin and eventually invega 6mg to the mix and now I’m pretty happy about life.