Does this sound paranoid

went to see the doc , she signed off on the last paper work.
i felt bad , like a fraud, i thought she was looking at me like i did not deserve disability , my wife said that was not the case.
i think my pride was hurt !
i asked my wife " did i act sz enough ! "
she said, " you don’t have to , you are sz. "
“oh,” i said.
my new diagnoses from the shrink is chronic sz with paranoia, ptsd, ocd, chronic depression .
i am not chronic paranoid or catatonic anymore , wow , progress !
when i am on this forum i am paranoid i should not be on the forum in case people find out i’m not sz !
even though i am sz !
i am even getting paranoid when people write stuff …
i get paranoid that i may offend people…
good thing i am not chronic paranoid sz anymore…
take care


I think that sounded perfectly rational.

I too have fallen into the mind set of… “Sis, do you think he though I was Sz enough?”

My sis nods, “Yes. You have been seen by a professional and you are diagnosed so that counts.”

“wait, then are you saying I’m crazy?”

My sis shakes her head, “No I’m saying you have been seen by a professional and your are diagnosed”

“So are you saying that they think I’m crazy?”

This can go on for a while until I calm down or I see something shiny.

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Beware, not all things shiny are good.
When your head is pointed down and, saaayyy…is that a shiny?
Oh looky loo.

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The only thing offensive is your name.

The sith blows donkey balls.

I wish they would stop executing order 66, i mean ghandi was a great guy, mlk, kennedy, all great guys, no need to kill them.

And how could that guy even call that immortality, his apprentice killed him, so it’s only immortality if you aren’t killed?

You sith lovin basstard!

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It’s free money for not doing work, anyone with a strong set of ethics will feel bad accepting that money, even if it’s desperately needed. The thing that has been helping me accept disability and not feel like a fraud is that I get symptomatic enough to not be able to function in society. Even if I’m able to work at the moment, my symptoms will return and render me useless and unable to work. The irony is that the stress that causes the symptoms to happen would probably be caused by the job. Instead of being paid for work I do, I’m being paid for the crap I go through as SZA symptoms. Like crazy is my job.

At the same time, I’m not always symptomatic. When I have a good week I question whether I ‘live up to’ my DX of SZA.


I’ve had a fairly good month as far as my voices go and it has been quite a while since I’ve noticed myself trapped in a delusion. The combination of these things has left a mark on the industrial-strength conscience of mine, which keeps telling me I’m fine, go back to work, your case isn’t bad enough to draw disability. I hate those silent thoughts, they are the loudest voices of all.

Glad to see you all up so late/early!

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i can tell im better than i used to be i used to think that it was everyone else that was mad actually sod it i still do haha

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mmmmm…this sounds very familiar.
take care

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i think about this everyday…

i am diagnosed schiz, agoraphobia and add … but im on the computer right now, then i wonder if its illegal while being financed by the government to enjoy yourself? because i’m not capable of experiencing pleasure anymore… everything is boring… this started to happen on my 3rd relapse/episode

i feel like i got banned from being able to enjoy life on earth… and all i seem to be doing on the computer is either playing video games or going through massive amount of information and dissecting all of it to come up with conclusions as to why im here, at this point of my life

should i get a job? i tried that, i failed 16 times (16 different jobs) … should i educate myself while im on the computer? am i supposed to work or study while im being financed to live at home?

if there is no reasoning behind it besides the fact that i have these mental illnesses and i can’t experience pleasure, what the hell am i supposed to be doing with my time? i feel like i have something to thank or work for, im not sure if this is paranoia or guilt … because i rather be home than outside, but thats normal according to my mental illness…

i think the problem is other people, how they judge me, saying im abusing the system… and when i think of this i feel better about myself, and would like science to clone my mental issues and give them to normal people so they can stop talking about how i live my life

no one wants to have these problems, its annoying as hell

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i think the same , can i smile down the street anymore ?
can i enjoy myself infront of others ?
what now ?
but i look at it this way, i and my family have paid and still do pay taxes, and what i am getting now is some of those taxes back.
take care

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That’s a great way to look at it darksith. We’ve all paid taxes to finance disability benefits. This is just you being able to cash in on those taxes.

I had a problem accepting disability benefits at first too. I waited almost 3 years to apply. That was 3 years with no income and no health insurance. I really suffered.

So, once my benefits were finally approved, I felt like I had EARNED them. Just as you have!